Reb and Jeb and Our Little Men

Good friends

2012-01-26T08:00:00.000-07:00

My talk went well last week. Thank goodness it's over. I wanted to mention a few funny things that happened that day so I wouldn't ever forget them, one of them was this text I got from Tiffany

Did I take her up on it? Yes! This was before my rotten weight gain revelation. But even if I had known, I still would have indulged. Because this is what friends do, they help you through anything. We sat in her car and ate and visited. A good visit by the way. She is my neighbor and my husbands sister, but life people, LIFE is so busy and crazy. Sometimes...

Sometimes you just need to take some time and sit in the car with a chilled pepsi, jujubees and a brown bag and share with your beloved friends. Downtown Abbey was also a great chaser later on that night!

The other funny thing was the look of sheer horror I kept getting from my friend Katie Kuntz. Everytime I looked at her, it was like looking into the face of pure panic. She cracked me up everytime I looked at her. I asked her if she brought a sign for me while I spoke and she gave me that look of, "Oh my gosh, you have to speak?" And then I was in trouble and in danger of losing my composure if I ever looked at her. She did say she would do the wave if I wouldn't mind. Of course I wouldn't and of course, she didn't. But that surprised look of trying to sustain fear was more than enough.

Thanks for the memories. They are permanent now.

Mr. Helpful

2012-01-25T08:00:00.000-07:00

I have written about htis before, but I love it when kids drain a bottle of window cleaner in one cleaning. I asked Owen why was there so much window cleaner on the window. He said, "I was just trying write my name with it." Doh! Four letters and you couldn't fit it in?

The next thing I noticed was he was using this instead of glass cleaner...

This explained why my car windows looked so crappy from the time he "cleaned them." Observe...

Those aren't frosty windows friends. That is certified boy help, in the form of streaky bathroom cleaner. Not intended for use on windows.

And admittedly, it's been two weeks and I still haven't remembered to clean them. Only when I get in the car and am off and running. By then it's all too late to grab the WINDEX.

weighing in...seriously?

2012-01-24T10:31:00.002-07:00

Christmas Eating is like a "one night stand."
It is oh so good just for that one night. And so worth it. -Anonymous (not so anonymous friend)

Until you step on the scale at your sisters house and ask, "Is thing broken?"
The answer is "No, why?"

Because last time I checked I only needed to lose 10 pounds, not 20!

This is the beginning of the end I am afraid. I always thought my metabolism would shift when I was 40 or 45. My mom's shifted around then, but it also shifted after she stopped smoking. (yep, she used to, and then she quit cold turkey when I was 10, she rocks).

So where am I storing the extra bit of Thanksgiving/Christmas fun? Hummmm.... I think in my thighs because all of my jeans my SIL gave to me (because they were too big for her) are Too small for me! I have a closet full of cute jeans I cannot squeeze into. This is a terrible thing to realize. I also suspect right around my rapidly shrinking waist.

My sister did ask if maybe, just maybe, I was pregnant. And I had that fleeting thought of oh boy! A sweet little bundle. Cute feet and toes and snuggles to fill my days with. And then I thought, OH NO. Puking incessantly is not high on my list of things to do, nor is trying to balance a family and a job, and be sane all the same. No no, I am definitely not pregnant. I haven't felt pukish. This baby weight gain is all food.

So what am I doing about it? First I was depressed and protested working out. Not to mention, my foot and knee are still buggin'. In spite of all the "rest" I have been told to give them. Then I called my friend Lindsay who gave me some good ideas on counting calories and watching what you eat. Not to mention what to feed the family, and this awesome new time suck, PINTREST!

So now, I am determined to lose the weight, and if anything, just get more fit. I have started p90x again, for the umpteenth time. I am up before the sun, sweating it out in my basement. Which, I am using my menopausal laptop (it has hot flashes), on my TV stand, because that too broke last year.

And now that I am admitting this here to myself, perhaps there will be more accountability and following through. I also have a fitness coach through Beachbody.com. It's free. It's really just more accountability and encouragement. I need all I can get. Because, if I truly cannot run again (sigh, gasp, tear...) then at least there are other fitness options that I like.

So here's to losing weight, or gaining muscle and getting ready for summer at the pool. Wish me luck, or mock me to scorn. Either will be helpful.

Straight from Jack, happy Friday

2012-01-20T21:54:00.001-07:00

I love it when I play with Jack, and he draws his super power clone trooper blaster on me and proudly screams in his pseudo lowered voice, "Freeze, YOu ARe UNDER my CHest!"

Thank you for that Jack.

Part II, Happiness is

2012-01-16T08:00:00.000-07:00

Happiness is watching my husband act like a five year-old at Christmas while feeding Gavin's bearded dragon, Toothless.

This vision was a gift to me by the man who is a self-proclaimed pet hater. His philosophy, if it poops and sheds anything then it will not live in this house.

This morning, while searching for my husband, I found him quietly sitting in Gavin's room. Toothless was on Gavin's bed while Gavin was sleeping and Jeb was crouched down to eye level with the lizard and the small cricket about to be breakfast. He looked over his shoulder and smiled at me with that boyish grin I think he will have until the day he dies. He turned back right as Toothless snatched that cricket and made the lovely exoskeleton crunchy sound. Then I heard the giggle only grown men do when their inner child is surfacing.

It was a lovely moment.

I picked the wrong week to...

2012-01-15T07:25:00.001-07:00

Stop taking Prozac. Is there ever a right one? I have been happy pill free for a month and the effect has been pretty amazing. I feel more present and true to my feelings. I don't feel like I am suppressing a whole lot. I have to remember to pause before I speak. I haven't had any panic attacks, YET.

And surprisingly, this week when I am preparing to speak publicly in church, I haven't thrown up yet. However, I am reminded of the movie Airplane! when the air traffic controller guy keeps saying things like, Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue. For other fabulous quotes from one of the best one-liner movies ever made, click on the line I just quoted.

My only hope is that I don't bore everyone to death and that someone gets something out of my talk. I seriously can't believe they asked me to speak. Jeb was the one lobbying recently to talk in church not me. I even threatened one of the members of the bishopric to be sick today. Sudden ailment due to the pathetic performance by the Broncos. Wish me luck without my mood stabilizer.

Happiness Is...

2012-01-14T09:36:00.000-07:00

I should really say, happiness and true love is,

Watching my husband entertain my plea that he pluck a snarly nose hair from his nose. He doesn't just pluck, he grabs the aptly shaped man-scaper and grooms that crazy hair away. Oh how I love that man of mine.

Reason #453 why not to tie a wire to a weight

2012-01-13T08:00:00.000-07:00

I think as a mom of boys I experience a lot of things mothers of girls will NEVER experience. I experience them being stinky, burping all the time, finding farts extremely funny (all of which are very funny) and of course, none of you can say this, tying a piece of wire to a weight and swinging it .

My brilliant oldest child is the mastermind behind this stroke of genius. This is AFTER my second oldest broke the window in our basement for the second time. I only found out about the swinging weight because of my little informant, Owen. Owen very proudly came upstairs and said, "I am going to tell mom or dad that Max is crying and hurt really bad."

Wow, that is one statement that really grabs my attention. I ran downstairs to find Max, wallowing in his dramatic misery, in their make-shift fort.

He proceeds to blubber how Gavin hit him with a weight he was swinging and it struck his knee. Granted that does hurt. But blind furry came into my frontal lobe as I was trying to comprehend how on God's green Earth wonder boy could do something so undeniably stupid.

Gavin came upstairs and muttered, "Mom, I know that was really stupid. I guess I wasn't thinking."

After a lengthy discussion by Jeb (he is terribly long-winded in his parenting), Gavin and I stretched and yawned and learned a little more about consequences and looking into the future. Predicting that when you swing a weight with a wire around people it could:

1. break a window
2. break a brother
3. break the heater
4. break the earth and then we would all fall down into the hole and be swallowed up.

He didn't buy my last reason. But it sure sounded good.

So we learned something today,

we learned why it is NOT a good idea to tie a piece of wire to a dumbbell weight. Cannot wait for what tomorrow's lesson may bring!

electromagnetic

2012-01-12T22:34:00.002-07:00

I think everything mechanical I touch breaks. I admitted this to a friend the other day and she thought maybe I had an electromagnetic field around me that threw my universe out of whack. And I am just going to believe that and not think I purposely try to destroy all things I hold dear and use to the utmost (I didn't know utmost was with a "t") purpose it was intended.

Cases in point. *A year ago in October, by camera broke at a wedding photo shoot. Right before even! My ex-BIL brother-in-law saved the day (something I will never forget and will always be grateful for) and I had a second shooter, so all's well that ends well. I also learned to ALWAYS carry a back up camera.

*A few days after, the memory card from ANOTHER wedding malfunctioned and cost me $500 to retrieve.

Thankfully no camera equipment has failed me this season, although, one of my lenses fell off my camera as I was using it to focus! It landed sunny side down, on the hood (thank you dear Lord for that save) so no harm no foul.

*Not one but two car accidents within a year of each other. Now I am not allowed to drive for my child's school. A truly mixed blessing and I get a lot of strange looks for the knowing staff.

*More recently, I have noticed that I needed new tires. My current ones are as bald as (fill in the first thing that comes to mind, for me, it's my BIL Ben,

super bald and shiny). I told the man about it, he said, let's wait until they lose a little more tread. "Are you insane?" This made me furious, "Really, you just want to wait until I wreck the car?" He gave me the look of "no, duh" but kind of "yeah." Wish granted, during the last month I have slammed the right front tire in to the curb THREE times. I lost a hub the first time, dinged it in a different place the second, and removed paint off a curb the third time. My wheel looks like something off of Mater from Cars. I recently had it and my door repaired, also not working. And really, I wasn't out of control speeding, I just couldn't grip the road with bald tires.

*I busted my kitchen aid! Poor professional grade piece of hud couldn't take grinding wheat berries longer than 10 minutes. The mixer assembly busted off and spewed oil, like I had mortally wounded it and had asked too much!

*My lap top, it's turned into a fine piece (again fill in whatever comes to your mind, I won't say what is coming to mine), it overheats if you cross your eyes at it. So now I rest it on a cooling rack for cookies and it works great and all, BUT, it seems pretty ghetto. I am sure my last client thought it was a little ghetto.

So there, my cameras, my mixer, my computer, and my car. Is it that I am too rough on stuff, I don't know how to take care of it and not wear it out (as Brigham Young has told us to do BTW) or am I just that girl, the one with the electromagnetic ring around my body?

talented family

2012-01-06T11:12:00.000-07:00

This is a Shameless plug for my husbands cousin Alec Nethercott. He is one of my husbands favorites, because this kid is so dang nice. He is so sweet, I remember him at our wedding 14.5 years ago, and every other family reunion since then. He even patiently endured my learning how to wake board. Which took the better part of an hour in Lake Folsom. I love this guy and I love this video. It's so him. Bad news though, he is married and has a baby, sorry to all my married friends ;)

Alec Nethercott - Upon This Rock from David Stauffer on Vimeo.

Angry Max

2012-01-03T17:11:00.001-07:00

I know, two posts in three days, wow, good things are newsworthy in my home.

I love it when I get phone calls like this,

"Mom, Gavin is being such a jerk."

"What did he do?" rolling my eyes

"He went upstairs into my room with his wet boots, got snow on the floor, knocked over my trophies, took out my screen and started to throw snowballs at me while I was outside."

"What was that last part? He threw snowballs at you from your bedroom two stories up?"

"Yes, I am so mad at him, he got my carpet wet and everything."

I am stifling a guffaw, "Go get your brother on the phone."

"Yes mother?" He always tries the cute innocent act to try to stay his verbal execution.

"Gavin are you out of your mind? Why do you think for one minute it is o.k. to take out your brother's screen and throw snow balls at him? And why do you think it is O.K. to bring snowballs into the house?" As I am saying this, I am laughing my head off.

"But why mom? The screen fell out one time before and dad has thrown water balloons at us from the roof before. I thought this was a little less dangerous."

The logic of this kid baffles me and will most jury's when he becomes a lawyer someday. He definitely has the quick mind and the quick mouth for one.

All in all, NO HARM NO FOUL.

And if you have a little post Christmas need to spoil yourself, I know I do, Shabby Apple is having a site wide sale! It's awesome. Click on the right side on their button. It also makes me look like a killer affiliate.

little blessings

2012-01-02T10:33:00.001-07:00

There is so much to rant and rave about. Christmas this year was epic. No divorces or cheating spouses or ruining families. It was a great improvement from last year. Also, we spent a LOT of time together as a family! It was fun. I closed up shop for a week and have enjoyed being present with the kiddos, truly a new mind set and improvement to think about for next year.

Which reminds me, I need a few more weddings to photograph for 2012. If you know anyone getting married and needs a rockin' photog and you don't think I am cruddy, send them my way, www.avenuebphotography.com. I will travel :)

I won't talk about the abysmal performance by the Broncos yesterday. I wish they would have lost. That way we won't have to watch them lose to Pittsburgh next week. They had a groove for a while, and now they are making me hang my head in Bronco shame, again. Like I have been for the past 6 years.

And onto the thing I am so thankful for today. I am thankful for the little amount of dropping our bearded dragon produced sometime last night. I actually squealed with glee and delight upon seeing its recycled crickets on the log today. We have been besides ourselves with worry about this little critter, which Gavin named Toothless. We were given bad info on the little gal and she almost died due to our ignorance and starvation. The people at Scales and Tails will be hearing from my lawyer today! That lawyer being my husband. We are ready to open up a can o' whoop A.

Happy Monday to you!

Truth be told, I lied. Hairy handedness

2011-12-21T13:26:00.001-07:00

Being a mother to boys leads to observing a lot of behaviors that are foreign to me. This is going to be a hard post to be discrete about. So I think I will just say, that the other day, I found one of my boys with his hands down his pants. Every boy is fascinated with the nether regions and it goes away. But this one particular kid can still be seen doing it.

So I told him, "You know, if you keep doing that you are going to grow hair on your hands. Front and back."

He looked at me and just smiled like I was lying to him. He has those eyes that make you want to smile at anything. It was hard to fight the urge to laugh at my flat out lie. I wouldn't even look at Jeb.

"Nuh uh."

"True story. You keep it up and then the next thing you know there is going to be hair on your hands and everyone knows what hairy hands means. Think about it."

Needless to say, he hasn't been seen doing it since then.

Isn't there a rule that sometimes lying is o.k.?

What the?

2011-12-10T10:12:00.000-07:00

Our children have tried many places for a time out. My personal favorite is the stairs. That way you can keep an eye on the kiddos while doing something else. BUT, then they are part of it all and not really thinking about what they did, so the next best place is the bathroom.

We sent Gavin to the bathroom for a time out. And then, well, we forgot. And the I think he forgot. So after a while we were looking for him, and suddenly he emerged from the bathroom. Smiles and repentant for his misdeed ( no idea what it was).

Then nature called me, I used the bathroom and saw this sitting on the sink.

No I don't bring a camera with me to the bathroom.

I came out a little creeped out. "Jeb, were sculpting in the bathroom?"

He looked at me quizzically, "No." But then I thought he was teasing me.

"Well nice job on your sculpting!"

"What are you talking about?"

"There is a sculpted toilet paper bear in the bathroom, the one you sculpted... You didn't do it?"

"No, I really didn't."

He goes and looks, then we are both laughing. What the?

We questioned all the kids, and finally Gavin said, "Oh yeah, I made that."

Wow!!! I am sure this is how all famous artists start out, sculpting toilet paper. Move over Michelangelo, time out in the bathroom will never be the same again.

up Chuck a-rama, lesser of two evils

2011-12-07T23:23:00.000-07:00

Holy smokes, I haven't blogged in a while. I think this is the same with everyone, the blog is taking the back seat. But I am putting in titles of posts to blog later, maybe when I am retired. Because I might have time then...

Paper rock scissors, that's what it came down to when Jeb and i were trying to decide what we were going to do on Sunday. Our original plan consisted of joining Gavin at his Lego Robotics Tournament. But the night previous was a completely awesome display in physics.

Newton's law, the gravity one, it's really true. If an object, say stomach juices mixed with chewed food catapulted from someone's stomach, Max's, at warp speed from the top of a loft bed, then those juices and chunks will hit the ground with such force as to splash in all directions for hundreds of feet. Oh, and this works if Max pukes repeatedly from said Loft bed. Not one surface was left unscathed. Everyone got a little taste of the barf. The desk, the chair, the curtains, the creepy life-sized leopard my guys named after their cousin Nathan, homework, library books, trophies, legos, shall I continue?

So the question, who got to go to Gavin's robotics tournament who got to clean up the puke? In my mind I was thinking, "I don't want to clean up the puke, I won't do a good job with it. Robotics with my son sounds wicked awesome." So I said to Jeb, "Honey, what do you want to do?" Please pick the puke please pick the puke...

"I think I will stay here and take care of Max. I went to the tournament last year, you haven't been yet, you should go." I was sweating bullets and I didn't hear the nefarious laughter coming from him.

"OK!!!" I say a little too quickly "I mean, are you sure? That is some nasty stuff. I won't have a good time, I promise."

So we went our separate ways, Jeb went back to bed and I took my dear un-medicated Gavin to the tournament of awesome Lego genius. The other two wee ones went to my moms for a little time with Grandma. It's always Christmas at grandmas house.

A few hours into our days I realized I had made a terrible mistake in lobbying to go to the tournament. It was torture on so many levels. Mostly because my dear child and his team need therapy, like a good dysfunctional family.

I can't go into the details because I might be accused of being a BIG JERK, not the first time. But, I was texting Jeb asking him to switch places with me. He was texting me describing in detail how well red Gatorade stains and how difficult it is to get dried barf off of the dresser and the carpet across the room.

WOW, impressive blast radius Max.

I didn't even care, I just wanted to leave and happily switch with Jeb. I had been duped. Jeb knew what I was going to be submitted to.

Thank goodness, thank heavens my friend Christin was there to text while we were sitting near each other and in general to commiserate with me.

Here's the zinger, my son and his team had a "great time." They can't wait to go back next year. Hmmmm....sign me up.

I know I sound terrible, but seriously, it was painful to watch a bunch of kids hopped up on candy and donuts and greasy chips try to focus on what they needed to do and how to improve. NOt to mention, not all voices were represented nor listened to. It's been three weeks and I can feel the blood pressure starting to boil.

And now, eh hum, the pictures. I would like to thank Jeb from the bottom of my heart for this documentation... it was stellar.

Poor Max...

Poor Jeb...

Apparently the nose plugs helped with that nice smell of puke, upchuck, vomiting, hurling, barfing, losing lunch, tossing cookies, ralfing, throwing up, yacking, retching, technicolour yawning, spewing, blowing chunks, and/or other forms of physical illness.

Need I say more! Both our days were challenging, and I honestly cannot say which I would have preferred. The pillow on the floor is covering up a good portion of the puke. You cannot see the stuff that ricocheted off the chair.

I love Jeb's face in the above picture. It's hilarious. OK I am glad I wasn't there. And yes, when I got home, it was completely cleaned up and in perfect order. My metro man is an amazing cleaner!

Black Friday Shopping Prank...LMRO, Laughing my rear off!

2011-12-03T06:57:00.001-07:00

First, stop dancing to the music and pause it for one second.

Let's face it guys, I have a whole mess of great things to share and archive, but it isn't happening today, or tomorrow, or next week. But I did come across this from a friend on Facebook, and I had to share. And if you have seen this, just watch it again and imagine me cackling with you!

Until we meet again, happy day to you!

eleven 11 eleven

2011-11-11T09:48:00.001-07:00

What a fun time to be alive. I have seen Hayley's commit, when I was little on my grandparent's ranch, in the wee hours of the morning. I survived Y2K, oh wait we all did. I am alive at a time when technology is rapidly bettering our lives (mostly) and today, I get to see and experience a cool play with numbers.

On this eleventh day, of the eleventh month, of the eleventh year in this century, I am thankful for so much. And this week is no exception. Here are a few of the things on my mind with a great heart of gratitude:

I am thankful that my husband right when I need a little sweet note to get me through the day.

I am thankful for Gavin, and how cool and fun he is to hang out with one on one. We spent last night reading the Far Side. And of course laughing our little heads off. It was a great moment. I love that boy. We are friends and always will be.
I am thankful for Max, he has such a big heart and is also a great one to hang out with one on one. I love his free spirit, the fact the he sings anytime, anywhere, and he is such a great helper.
I am thankful for Owen, because Owen just makes me smile by being him. He is so sweet and growing up so fast. He is so smart, a great reader. My favorite thing about Owen is his ability to draw out any sentence and make you hang onto every word until he finishes his thought. It's down right hilarious.
I am thankful for Jack, because Jack tossed his "monkey" around the front room and yelled it at the top of his lungs. Reminded us of Max in his monkey tossing days. I also love that everything, and I mean everything he does is cute and makes me laugh. Right down to the part where when he senses I am a little terse, he will yell, "Mommy, I love you!"
I am thankful that when I went running the other day, it started out cold, and then got hot, so I placed my gloves inside the butt part of my pants. Then I forgot and went to help at Owen's school and was oblivious to my lumpy rear until I got home and changed.
I am thankful for a lunch date with my dear friend yesterday. Kayla, it was awesome and so needed.
I am thankful for this day of remembrance of our brave people in the armed forces and the Veteran's whom have paid such a high price for our freedom. I feel so much pride when I see a line of American flags. I kind of just want to wrap myself up in them and say a silent prayer of gratitude that I live right now, that brave men and women made this possible, that I live in this great nation, and that I am rich with a great family and beloved friends.

Happy Halloween!

2011-11-10T08:00:00.000-07:00

A Halloween review...

Happy Halloween!

We had a fun weekend but broke with tradition a lot. I am whooped from this crazy photography season and also with my sister miraculously surviving the birth of her daughter, I didn't have anything left to put on a Halloween Party and make homemade doughnuts. But the rest of the gang participated in style...

Our theme this year was none other than death and killers, with a little bit of pimp and hero mixed in.

Jeb inspired me to reapply the kids makeup. He made them up a few nights before, and then it was my turn to turn them into killing freaks again. They look pretty great.

Owen is wearing MAC juxt, black tied, and some blue color. He knew just what makeup to apply from Jeb dipping in my good stuff a few days ago. There is also a rad scar added for some effect. Pretty sweet right?

I do not get their fascination with the grim reaper and being a bloody killer...

Especially since last year they were super heroes of varying degrees.

And then there's Jeb, say no more.

My friend Lisa and I giving the "Whatever" for Halloween this year. We always go out in a big way by dressing up, but bah, not this year.

Although Pippa was shamed into wearing this Unicorn outfit. Isn't it hilarious?

We carved pumpkins the night before this as well. It was so much fun. Everyone still made their most unique creations while Jeb created a masterpiece. Jeb has this amazing ability to render anything our children conjure up in their little genius heads. This year the challenge was a "trooper" pumpkin. Although I think Gavin will be giving Jeb a run for his money in the future.

Jack's pumpkin. Totally rad, right? A storm trooper. GAvin's pumpkin is eating it, but who cares?

We got these fair pumpkins from the Anderson Farms crazy pumpkin patch. More about that later. I made it my duty to get a white pumpkin. I thought they were cool until I tried to carve one. They are so think. I guess, according to the pumpkin chunker himself, white pumpkins are used in pumpkin chunking competitions.

Finished products, minus mine which was still mocking me with it's enormous shell.

Mine, pretty cute the first day.

All in all, an excellent Halloween. I think next year we will be right back to business. Parties, donuts, gouls, oh my! Cannot wait... yes I can.

4 times and forgetting

2011-11-07T10:11:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year again when the kids have their piano recital with the excellent tutilage of Mrs. Chatterly. This year was another year of seriously funny recital performances. Owen went first by playing the only song he likes to play from his lessons, I Am Like a Star Shining Brightly. He has it down and plays it several times in a row while I am in the kitchen making dinner, or cleaning or whatever. Needless to say, he plays it repeatedly without my stopping him. When I hear a lull in the music, I say, "Honey that was so nice. Great job." I really do mean it, but I am not necessarily paying attention.

Yet, practice makes perfect...He played his song not one, not two, but four times.

The first time he played, we were all delighted and perhaps leaning in a little closer to hear him play. He played very timidly. We were all expecting him to stop. But then, he just kept going with the second time. Owen played this much better.

But then, he repeated his song a third time. I looked at Jeb. Robyn looked at me, and then I felt the looks of all the adults in the room. Here was the big question. Do we all politely just let him keep playing? You could feel the consensus in the room of the listening crowd. We were all torn. He was so cute to just keep repeating and playing the song perfectly over and over and over again. Does Robyn go up and tell him to stop? Does Jeb go up and give him a pat on the back and an "atta boy" and have him get up from the piano? I couldn't do anything because I was trying not to laugh my head off. It was so cute and funny and innocent.

Thankfully, a dad, Brandon Eggleston, came to the rescue. He looked back at me, and nodded his head as the song ended, for the fourth time and started clapping. The whole room erupted into applause and Owen, well, watch.

Oh my gosh. Could Owen be any cuter? I felt a little lighter that day because of the jovial spirit he brought into the room. I was probably the only person to feel this, besides his family, but it felt good to have a sweet son do something so funny.

And then there is my darling Gavin. So smart, so bright, yet so 11. As we are pulling up to the piano recital, everyone jumps out of the car, excited we are actually on time somewhere. Owen grabs his music and Gavin jumps out and starts running in.

"Gavin, where is your piano music?" Stunned silence.

"Did you seriously forget your piano music to YOUR piano recital?" A little nod.

Thankfully the recital was at our church, a minute away, so really no harm no foul.

"Jeb toss me the keys, I need to go back home."

"Why?"

"Because."

Gavin and I get in the car, "Gavin, I cannot believe you forgot your music. It's like forgetting to pull down your pants to pee. It's like forgetting to breath. I have nothing nice to say, so I am not saying anything."

"Mom, I am sorry."

nothing

"Mom, why aren't you talking to me."

"Because I am mad."

"But you just talked to me." DOH!

Silence.

Gavin performed a rousing rendition of Alouette. Which it turns out is about plucking and eating a Lark. Check it out And then, check out Gman chewing gum and playing piano. It's a pretty amazing talent.

It also reminds me of a poem my dad used to tell me when he saw me chewing gum and playing the flute. He would chew gum in school and get busted while he was in band playing the trumpet. The band teacher would make my dad write something that went like,

The gum chewing drummer and the cud chewing cow are a somewhat alike but different somehow. What is the difference? I’ll tell you right now its the contended look on the face of the cow.

Robyn does such a great job with the kids. And thank you so much Robyn for remembering that we don't have all day to listen to kids pluck out notes on the piano. It was perfectly timed and we enjoyed a nice game of keep away after in the gym.

The good wife

2011-10-26T07:56:00.000-06:00

Life! Wow is it crazy? I do want to write about my adorable children, Jack's 4th birthday, Gavin being an amazing kid. Max being so sweet and yet, so extroverted. Owen losing his first tooth, finally and then there is me.

The good wife who wakes up at the butt crack of dawn to work. Come 7:15 and my husband hasn't stirred, I am starting to think maybe his alarm didn't go off. I don't want him to be late for his job, so I do what any normal person does, I text him from my office, "Hey are you going to work today?" no response.

After I finish my breakfast of cottage cheese (I swear I am turning into my grandmother) I go upstairs to find out why he hasn't moved. I open the door and then it hits me like a ton of bricks, BOOM. Jeb has taken the rest of the week off from work. All the man wants to do it sleep in and I totally wrecked it. RATS.

Maybe some matching unmentionables will fix that... :)

disappointing

2011-10-18T22:41:00.000-06:00

Owen was so excited to discover that his first tooth was loose. He wiggled the snot out of it, but to no avail. It still wanted to be nestled in the pink gummy tissue. Loosely nestled, but nonetheless, nestled all the same. He was bouncing off the walls, jumping around so excited at the prospect of losing his first tooth.

This reminded me of the time when I got the chicken pox. I had waited what seemed like forever to contract that itchy, rotten, virus. I would purposely play with my neighbors who had finally been blessed with the itchy, pink medicine plague. I would rub my face on their blankets and give them extra long hugs when I left their viral presence. Those friends got so much attention. I was unaware of the irritated looks on mother's faces and dark circles under peoples eyes at the loss of sleep. I thought, "sweet, you get to miss several days of school and watch enough Star Wars to memorize all three movies (at the time). You also get your mom's undivided attention complete with a pink be-speckled appearance. I am so on board with that." I think every person I knew got the chicken pox before me. And when that awesome day finally arrived, I was so excited. I checked my skin repeatedly for any sign of a raised pink blisters. A few times I went up to my mom begging her confirm the appearance of a questionable blister. It wasn't. But later that night, it was and I remember calling my grandparents and proudly proclaiming, "I have the chicken pox. I am so excited!" Boy was I ignorant. My excitement quickly came crashing down as I couldn't stop itching, everywhere. I had chicken pox everywhere. On my eyes, in my eyes, up my nose, in my throat. It was rough and I no longer thought the chicken pox were better than a shopping spree or Christmas. I WAS MISERABLE.

Owen, upon the loss of his first tooth will realize a few things:

It hurts
Its' bloody
You cannot chew your food like you used to
Other teeth will start being jealous and follow suit by falling out with the first one. He will be toothless for Christmas, I am sure of it.
BUT, you do get a crap load of money from the tooth fairy. Especially since the fairy has raised the bar to a whopping $5 since my 10 dimes that magically appeared when I was a young lass.

I do not want to diminish the excitement that comes with losing your first tooth. It is pretty much the most amazing thing ever. You lose a bone from your mouth and another one grows in. You're not too different from a shark and that likeness alone is enough to make a small six year-old imagine that magically his tooth will fall out the first night he discovers his tooth is loose.

But, alas, it takes a lot more than a days worth of willing it out to get that sucker moving out. Owen woke up the next morning all weepy and mopey. I asked him what was wrong and he answered, "I can't believe my loose tooth didn't fall out last night."

I didn't hold back a chuckle, "But Owen, it's going to take quite a few days and lots more wiggles to get it out. And you don't want it to come out when your sleeping. What if you swallow it and then poop it out. I for one am not digging it out. For sure you want to be awake." Besides being way too much information first thing in the morning, I think that cured his disappointment with not losing his tooth in the wee hours of the night.

Better luck this week buddy.

a b b gun

2011-09-29T08:00:00.000-06:00

Owen is always good for know just the perfect gift to give his brothers for their special day. Jack is no exception. While driving the kids to school this morning, I asked out loud what we should get Jack for his upcoming birthday?

Owen says, "I know the perfect present."

"Oh yeah, what is it?"

He holds his hand up to his mouth and whispers to the front seat, "A BB gun."

Oh yeah, that's perfect. Give a four year-old a BB gun. Especially that one. I don't think so.

Heard in my house...

2011-09-24T08:00:00.000-06:00

Upon leaving my dear sister-in-laws home tonight, she handed me some cleaned up dishes I had given her food in.

"These dishes had some yummy curry you made me and some other good stuff. And then there was the stuff that made the fridge stink really bad." Uh oh, what did I make you that turned fuzzy and science experimenty?

"Those would be things that London and Gavin concocted in your yard."

Phew... yes, I remember Gavin asking to use my food chopper and other Pampered Chef items to make grassy watery nastiness in a two-liter bottle.

Jeb chimed in, "But, we will not make any more concoctions using pee, right Gavin?"

Gulp, what? Rip the record off the player, did you just say my kid peed in a concoction?

Gavin turned bright red, Tiff said, "No way Gavin, that's awesome." Because what else would a good Aunt say? She held up her hand for a high-five, right as Gavin was turning beat red.

I too held up my hand, for a long time, and was left hanging. Gavin was flat out too embarrassed that his secret ingredient was out of the bag. Granted, that is disgusting, but extremely cool in a boy backyard cousin kindof way. But then again, maybe it's just me.

Have a nice weekend with some "clean" concoctions!

muddy warriors

2011-09-22T08:00:00.000-06:00

Picture it, 5:30 in the morning and Jeb and I are getting into our car to drive up to the mountains to get really muddy. It sounds like the making of a truly fabulous spousal bonding experience. And yet, that is not all. I fall asleep the minute we get on the highway, just like a good passenger should, until we arrive at Arapahoe Basin to race with 500 of my closest warrior friends.

You start catching a bus with a bunch of crazy people wearing hats like this...

or dressing up in their favorite crazy people outfit...

Most notable of the crazies were Katie and Bart as well as Natalie and Brian. Brian brought his awesome parents who did all of our photos from the event. They also schleped all of our stuff around like a bunch of kind and smily pack mules. Too Kind indeed. They caputred the best moments on our quest to conquer the warrior dash.

The starting line...notice the crazy hat people. I am thinking at this point, "I don't care what happens...I just don't want Jeb to beat me." And Jeb is all smiles. I think we all are a little ignorant as to what the course holds for us. I thought it would be pretty chill with some crazy obstacles.

Right from the start Jeb said, "Becca, if you don't want to run with me, you don't have to." There was no, "Are you sure? No it's o.k. I want to run with my shmoopy." There was, "OK, see you at the finish. Good luck and love you!" I broke away from the group. I was a little worried about Katie and Bart passing out. They came from sea level to about 10K feet. That's enough to make me a little light headed.

The race officials didn't mention all the DANG uphill running...I vowed not to walk, I wouldn't let certain people pass, but then when my lungs and legs were burning, I found I was walking.

Cute Jebbie. After this stretch there was this AWESOME mud pit with barbed wire across the top of it.

WE all decided to start a wave later. You know how disappointing it is get a tutu and then not wear it for the race? I know! So we waited while our lovely Warrior Fairy grabbed her knock out tutu. I am glad we did if for nothing else than this picture...

I am definitely wearing a tutu next year! Fo show.

We sloshed, we ducked, we climbed and balanced. We smiled for the camera when the time was right and then we ran through the "fire."

I know my quest personally was to make sure Jeb didn't beat me. How is that for a nice wife? This wasn't a big dealio because he is out of shape and I just ran a half marathon the weekend before. But man, with Jeb you never know, he could surprise you with an extreme amount of energy and endurance and beat me. I couldn't let that happen. So I broke away from him at the start. The other couples kindly ran with their spouses in true marital muddy bliss.

Here are Katie and Bart for the finish, I love Katie's face on the second picture.

Natalie and Brian, come in in style, balerina style.

The after...Gosh we were dirty and I most admittedly had dirt in places I never knew existed.

The public showers were by far some of my faves. The water was warm and plentiful. The people sharing the shower were all smiles and disgusting all at the same time. My favorite comment was, "I think I dropped my soap." and "This reminds me of last month in prison."

I donated my shoes to a pile of other discards to a good cause. We were filthy and happy. What a great race. I highly recommend it to anyone up for something a little different than the every day.

It isn't every day you get to run through muddy slop and have fun doing it or share a public shower with a jovial stranger. I don't know, maybe you do, this was a first for me.

I can say that next time I will run next to my man. Love him, still won't let him win.

Looking forward to October 15, when we run like a bunch of mad people in the Rugged Maniac.

Murphie's Law

2011-09-21T14:46:00.000-06:00

Who is Murphy and why does he have to make such an irony of my life?

I lost my ipod shuffle. It was green, cute and convenient for me to use on my runs in the morning. I looked high, I looked low. I tore apart couches and beds and cabinets looking for that darn thing. Usually Max likes to jam out to it. So Naturally, I thought he had lost it. And when I couldn't find it, I blamed him in heart of hearts for losing it. I even held it against him even though he had no idea.

I was preparing for a big race, the Georgetown Half Marathon, and realized I couldn't train any more for it unless I had music. Music helps me not get bored and be aware of my body telling me it's getting older.

I found a purple ipod shuffle on Craigslist and promptly grabbed it. It was totally sucky too, the little clasp didn't clasp, but it worked otherwise.

The next day I was looking for a movie in our closet of movies and what did I find, My Green Ipod Shuffle. The Day AFTER I bought the wimpy clasp purple one, I find the green one. Thank you Murphy. Thank you Jack for puting it there. After doing some crime scene investigating, fingerprints came back with a positive match to a certain 3 year old answering to the name Jack Jack.

The lesson is, don't let me barrow anything of yours, it may end up in our movie closet without my knowing it and Max will get blamed for it.

Jack Talk and Back Talk

2011-09-20T08:00:00.000-06:00

This little boy has been cracking me up lately...

The things he says are a riot...

His Aunt Tiffany game him some hand sanitizer with some cool markings on it. Whenever he wants to use it, he calls it "HANZITIZER." "Mom, can I have some hanzitizer?" SURE! Then he empties the whole bottle out in one swipe.

Jack is also a good one for family prayer. The other night when he was praying, he asked for the following, "Bless that our brains don't fall out of our heads. And also bless that they eat me up and eat my brain..." This went on for a long time...it was such a sincere prayer and we couldn't help but let him just finish it up. It was so funny.

I also love it when he is telling a story about his family and realizes he is part of the story, "One day, daddy, mommy, gavin, and max and owen and jackson, that's me were going to the park..."

My personal favorite is when we were at the zoo earlier in the summer. It was while Gavin and Max were at our friends' ranch for a week. More about that in a later post. So I took the vodka curry kids with me (Arjun and Sonja, my darling neighbor kids I watch whose parents are Russian and Indian). We had a great time at the zoo together. We indulged in all the things you never go to the zoo for. Dippin' Dots, and bird feeding.

While we were eating our dippin' dots, I inhaled mine and helped Jack with his. He saw me eyeing his and started to pull his little cup closer to him. I said, "Jack you are going to share your dippin' dots and you are going to like it." Without hesitation, he replied, "No I am not and you're stupid."

Stunned silence followed along with me turning my head and cracking up. Then I gained a straight face and turned to him, "Jack, you cannot call me stupid. We don't say that to people." He just smiled and ate his dippin' dots in a protective stance.

Other times during the day, now that it's just him and me, we will have little chats about his friends. Every once in a while he will come out with, "(so and so) I like her but she is kindof a jerk." He kills me with his honesty. What am I going to do with this dynamic spirit of a child?

The icing on the cake is when he randomly yells, "I love you so much mommy."

But my other personal favorite is his request for a new pet, "Mom, when can we get a pet Orca?"

"As soon as we get a football field sized fish tank in our back yard." He looks at me puzzled. I look at him just as puzzled.

Sorry friends, Jack is not for sale. He is mine all mine and I thank God every day for him.

deterrants

2011-09-19T08:00:00.000-06:00

Reasons why bunnies and dear and humans will not be eating any of my plants! by golly...

I take a lot of pride in my yard. I have worked my HINEY off planting plants, pulling weeds. Making sure the drip system is in the right place at the right amount of water. I mow the grass, the green belt in our yard. It should look pretty great. But no, the wascally wabbits are out in full force after my Black Eye Susans and Cone Flowers. Hell hath no furry like a woman protecting her efforts.

I asked the helpful staff (really) at home depot if they had anything to keep the rabbits away. The attendant said yes indeed they did. It was a sweet concoction of dried animal blood, bone marrow, and Cayenne pepper. Just one whiff of this stuff had me convinced.

But I have to say, the packaging is what sold me.

I am not afraid that the bunnies are going to eat my plants, I am more concerned about the vampire deer.

This is the most hilarious photoshop job I have seen in a while. Totally realistic, when was the last time you saw Bambi show his fangs to you?

I can attest first hand however that this stuff really works. Really really works. After spreading it over my flowers at their bases, I rubbed my nose with my hand and sniffed a little to clear my sinuses. And hot damn I inhaled a little of that lethal combo, dried animal blood, bone marrow, and cayenne pepper. I thought my sinuses were on fire. It hurt so bad for a good thirty minutes. I couldn't stop sneezing. I thought I was going to have to resort to inhaling water just to wash it all away.

I still hate hate hate the bunnies in my yard. I curse them at least once a day. This has been a bad example to my children whom may have been involved in a bunny stoning incident, condoned by a certain husband.

But let me tell you, I don't ever want to come face to face with Vampire Bambi.

Amazingly Flexible

2011-09-17T13:50:00.001-06:00

I am going to admit it. I am fun to be around. I understand why half the time at a sporting event, I have no idea what is going on with the team. Jeb is also fun to be around, just in a different way. A follow-the-sport- kindof, yell-at-the-opposing-team, or our team, even though the teams cannot hear him, kind of guy.

See what I mean. Totally intense. Oh wait, I told them to look really interested in the game. This is how we sat. Three chicklets by Jeb,

and one chicklet by me. Oh that cute face. I love it so much.

We had awesome seats at the Broncos game a few weeks ago.

When one child rotated with the other brothers, we ate cotton candy, burped loud, "made some noise" when the jumbo screen told us to. We even danced our little buts off trying to get on the spy cam. To no avail. And then it was time for the cheerleaders to dance. Bless their little immodest hearts, they really try hard to get the audience into the game. I kept thinking what crappy performers they were with little dance skill. I am an in dance since I have watched an entire season of So YOu Think You Can Dance. I know cappy dancing when I see it.

Gavin turns to me after watching their LAME performance and says, "Mom, I just noticed those cheerleaders are amazingly flexible."

"Yeh son, and so are strippers." OK, I didn't really say that, instead I laughed my head off at his innocent observation of the "flexible cheerleaders."

All in all we had a great time. Super great. The kids got to eat whatever food they wanted, we all had a good soda to wash it down. (BTW, do you say "pop" or "soda" when referring to cold and tasty beverages?)

Thanks Bob, the boss man for the tickets. May we have another opportunity to see some amazingly flexible crappy dancing cheerleaders.

Owen's Philosophy

2011-09-03T08:52:00.000-06:00

I love Owen. Why? Well there are countless reasons why. I think as a parent, we try to teach our kids the bigger picture. And no matter what religion you are, you always want them to get the "bigger picture" from stories they learn at church or in the scriptures. For example, there is a story about these super young, super brave warriors in the Book of Mormon who valiantly and bravely battled a bunch of seasoned warriors on the opposing side. There were 2000 of these young, inexperienced warriors and not a single one of them died in this epic battle. In fact they prevailed and were key in the success of this great battle. What's more amazing is that they give credit to their God and to their mothers who taught them about having faith. What does Owen learn from this story?

I would like to say he learned great faith in the All Mighty, that HIS mother taught him to be valiant and brave in the face of affliction and danger. But no, Owen just loves a GOOD BATTLE.

slicker than snot...or vomit

2011-08-30T08:01:00.000-06:00

Yesterday started out with Owen at the bus stop, saying, "Mom, my stomach hurts."

"Is it a puky hurt or is it a pain in your tummy?" Like there is any differentiation in these two hurts.

"I feel like I am going to puke."

"Oh honey, I am sorry to hear that." Then I gave him a huge hug. "But, you are still going to school today, now get on that bus. If your tummy still hurts at school, go to the nurse and I will come get you."

This was followed by much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth. He all but refused to get on the bus, but then I pulled out my secret weapon, "Get on that bus or you will not have any screen time after school."

Problem solved.

Then I prayed that he wouldn't puke on the bus on the way to school. No one likes that kid who ruins the already fragrant smell of the bus with an even better scent, stomach juices.

I hung by the phone, checked it several times, but no one called. High five to me, I was right, he was fine after all. Phew.

YET...Enter Gavin after school. The poor kid is a slug after school. His medicine, as of late, has been causing a complete loss of appetite at school, therefore he doesn't eat anything for lunch. Then when he gets home, he usually has a monster headache. Go figure. This is no way to live.

To compound this, he says, "My stomach hurts."

What is going on with my family today? "Is it a puky hurt or is it a pain in your tummy?" I should really think about a career in health care, I should totally revisit the nursing degree idea.

"I feel like I am going to puke."

"Well, it's probably because you haven't had anything to eat all day. Your body is trying to tell you something. Go drink some water, and get something to eat."

He did. Water to me is like Windex to the Greeks. I feel like it solves so many of today's maladies. Again, future career in healthcare is flashing in my mind.

A few hours pass, he seems to feel better. He goes outside, fries a bunch of ants with a lens I let him disassemble. Then it's dinner time. We had pasta, homemade pesto, fresh garden veggies and for dessert, angel food cake with fresh raspberries.

Gavin grabbed his dinner, sat down at the table and started making funny faces. Pukey faces. He rubbed his tummy, held his hand up to his mouth, made a dry heave motion. Jeb commanded that the boy get up and run to the bathroom. He didn't make it.

This is what we saw blow by blow.

Gavin get up, and start running to the bathroom.
Gavin start to throw up a little on the floor not two feet from the table.
Gavin take a few steps, puke some more. This time it blasts onto the floor and as luck would have it, on the walls.
Gavin takes some more steps, really goes for it on the puking factor and promptly slips in his own puke, slides on the floor and slams into the closet door, unhinging the closet.
Gavin sits there for a second, pondering what just happened, starts to puke again.
The crowd goes wild, his family, us, are like a bunch of cheerleaders encouraging him to get up, "C'mon Gavin, you can make it to the bathroom, keep going." "Oh, that's gotta hurt, wow, you slipped on your puke."
Phew, he makes it and finishes strong in the toilet.

WOW! That was eventful. Poor kid, really. I do have some sympathy, but that was nothing short of AMAZING. Who knew puke was so slick on a wood floor? Gavin does now.

After everything calmed down, after we all finished our dinners, which was an awesome follow up to watching the G man puke and SLIDE, we discussed the procedure of puking without slippage. "When you feel even slightly like puking, just go to the bathroom. You won't lose anything just because you sat at the toilet and waited."

Jeb ended up leaving and going on an errand that night. Gavin ended up feeling better, much better. And he ate a second dinner, kept it down. And had dessert.

All in all, a great night.

Jackson Dynomite

2011-08-22T08:29:00.000-06:00

Jackosn's first day of preschool was awesome. He is one of a few select in Mrs. Angie's School of fun and awesomeness. I am so excited for him. He wouldn't let me dress him and I wasn't going to fight him on it. I also quite loved the boots!

Happy Friday, the days are ticking down

2011-08-12T08:13:00.000-06:00

Ice blocking with my family was like... well a little less exciting than Disneyland, but not by much. I was a little shocked when my family, my brother, my parents, my sister, didn't know what it was or had never been. Isn't this the next best thing to the luge people?

Jeb bought a 100 pounds of ice blocks and we proceeded to the hill of death near our house. Actually, it's not that perilous, but is seems foreboding when you are at the top looking down.

Honestly, I think the adults had more fun than the kids. My brother, my husband, Celeste's husbee Brian, my dad, they all had that look of 8 year old wonder and amazement. MY DAD went, do I even have to remind myself that he is a stroke survivor and healthier than before the stroke. I love that man and his will to live life to its fullest. Way to go dad!!! It was such a great time! Just as I had envisioned it.

Owen and Wyatt, cousins through and through, informed me that they "ran a 5K" around the track at the bottom of the hill. It was a 1 lap 5K. A very short one. Owen claimed he won, but I did observe Wyatt smoking him. That kid has some serious running skills. Owen, on the other hand favors the "Ohr" side of the family and runs like a dear.

What would have been really great is if Celeste had ice blocked or demonstrated her awesome Gazelle run. It's classic and perhaps something I can get on closed circuit camera sometime. Too bad she is 8 months pregnant. She is so beautiful I must say. Almost, a very small almost, makes me wish I could be prego right beside her. But then the whole potty training thing kicks in and the thought of 5 kids and the doubling up on Prozac, and I don't want to anymore.

Ice blocking, I highly recommend it. Have a good weekend. Tomorrow I run in a half marathon, wish me a little luck. I am going to need it. Wish that my knees don't give up and that my bunion keeps in it's spot. Yeah, I have a bunion and I am ok with my awesome old lady feet.

Happy Friday, Reverse Upsidedown Superman

2011-08-04T23:09:00.001-06:00

Happy Friday from Commander "Rex." Anytime I ask jack to pose for the lens, this is what I get. This is what anyone gets really.

Just wait until you see our family pictures by this guy. Pictures are still pending, I cannot wait to see them.

Summer is winding down, school is going to start before we know it. Supplies have been purchased, no one was harmed in the process. Walmart provided 99.9% of what I needed. That's impressive, usually I have to GO EVERYWHERE. But not this year. I think I saved about $10 per kid by shopping on my own instead of using the handy dandy EduKit. Was it worth it? You bet, it's always worth it when I can save a buck or two.

We ventured to a nearby park the other night via bikes and trailer. I had been talking this park up because of the easy access to the babbling brook and swings and such. I didn't even notice there was a bonus giant Paper Wasp hive nearby. "Awesome" (not cute) Jack also found me this cute little flower...

Check out my hairy leg, yummy. I will have a completely separate post about body hair, why oh why oh why? The Italian genes in me are alive and well. Right from my upper lip to my fuzzy feet and toes. Take a gander the next time you are at the pool with me.

Here is Owen's amazing fashion statement...mismatched socks. I love his free spirit. He giggled when I asked him if he was wearing mismatched socks. Kindof like, "Duh!"

And here we come to the meat of the story, jumping and swinging. when I say I have five kids, this is why Jeb counts as my fifth sometimes...most of the time.

Gavin doing his superman...

Jeb doing his superman...

Max by far looks the best, completely in the zone...

Second attempt, even better...

Now, let's move over to our "twin towers," as the neighbors have dubbed our play set.

Max applied his flight skills... and didn't quite have the same results.

I was out meeting with clients and getting running shoes, when I called home to see how the peeps were doing. Jeb answered the phone and said he was just finishing wrapping up Max's leg from skinning his shin.

This was a simple case of Monkey See, Monkey Do. But Monkey didn't do it right.

I guess Max was watching our other son, Kyle Merrill, we love him. Kyle was doing some funky swinging on the swings and jumped off the swing when it was swinging back, not forward. Max tried the same thing and failed miserably. But I always say nothing ventured, nothing gained. Max gained an understanding of gravity and of the new move, the Reverse Upsidedown Superman maneuver. I don't even think Sean White is brave enough for this one. But hey, Sean White is insane and fearless like my kids.

Have a good weekend friends.

awesome

2011-08-02T20:57:00.000-06:00

I asked Jack today, "Jack Jack, how did you get so cute?"

I was expecting him to monologue on how he got his amazing cuteness and spryness from yours truly. How he gets his twinkly eyes and great whit from yours truly. Instead,

He replied a little miffed, "Mom, I am not coot, I don't want to be coot."

"Well, honey what do you want to be?"

"I just want to be awesome."

That my friend will never EVER be a problem for you!

Waxing Poetic...Baseball

2011-08-02T14:53:00.000-06:00

I remember my first baseball game. It was when I was 12, and I won tickets to a double header for a minor league team, the Denver Zephyrs, and after the games, Chicago performed on the baseball diamond. I was beyond thrilled to win. I sounded like I won the lottery on the radio. I took my dad and I wore my most eligible outfit. I think it was layered red jersey shirt, with a white shirt underneath, my sleaves rolled so you could see the white. And of course an acid washed denim skirt. I layered my socks red and white to match my cute shirt ensemble. I wore a red and white scrunchi, and pretty much looked like I was ready for anything other than a baseball game. I took my dad as my date. After that game, my dad and I grew a little closer, but I also felt an awful lot of patriotism. Baseball gets its roots from the good old United States.

After watching my family play baseball, I had those same feelings of pride and patriotism. Proud my family was participating in a hallowed tradition.

Nothing warms my heart more than a game of little league where the great traditions of baseball are being passed on from one generation to the next. It's like stories or legends being told around a campfire. The elder tells the story, the children listen. Such is with baseball. You might say its boring, it can be. You might think this "no contact sport" is for the faint at heart. But when your son and husband get out there and pass the torch, carry on the folklore of baseball in this manor, it's nothing short of the all-american dream. This is what life is all about, sunsets, baseball, and family.

Gman is missing something

2011-07-22T10:34:00.000-06:00

Cannot quite put my finger on it, oh yes, its the bottom half of his teeth. He has lost 3 teeth within a week. He seems to think he should get extra for the silver (capped) teeth. I seem to think the tooth fairy has already paid for a hundreds of teeth in the capped tooth. Sorry kid, you get spare change from the tooth fairy's purse.

I don't know if he is pulling my leg, or if he really believes in the tooth fairy still.

Good luck gumming your food Gavin. I seriously love love love that face.

My Mom's a Cheater

2011-07-15T08:00:00.001-06:00

My kids spent the night with some good friends the other night. I drove up and dropped them off and then the next day I drove back up to pick them up. Not a big deal. We love these friends. These are the kinds of friends that our kids are the same age and we all have a good time together. So Angie took on having two extra boys among her already three boys. They had a really great time.

She took them on a huge hike, they caught craw dads and bugs and got dirty. They also found fresh raspberries and ate them off the bush and proudly dripped juice down their beaming little faces.

Then it was time for games. They played Farkle, Life, Apples to Apples, and Rummikub. Angie asked everyone when they set up their Rummikub trays if they could see anyone else's stuff. Gavin said he could see some, so they all scooted back and made sure it was all fair and legal. Angie then said, "All right, no one is going to cheat are they?"

Gavin chimed in, "No, the only person who cheats at games is my mom. She always cheats."

Excuse me? I must clarify something for you my dear Gavin, and then I believe I owe my husband and kick in the shins.

Gavin, I ONLY cheat when I am losing beyond recovery and I am playing against your father. And you my dear are running close into the danger of being cheated on. You always win at games! It pretty much makes me feel sub-human, like an idiot when I cannot beat my own 11 year-old. And when I do actually win, I am shameless in my gloating. Sorry son, I am a poor excuse for a mother while playing games. It brings out the very worst in me. Kindof like driving brings out the worst in others, it's losing at games against you and your father that brings out the other side of mommy dearest.

To Jeb, you have planted the seed of our children thinking I am a dirty rotten cheater. I only have one thing to say to you, I am what I am.

crap booking

2011-07-12T11:19:00.000-06:00

LeAnne D. please do not take offense to my title of crap booking. There is a good reason why I refer to it as such. Scrap booking is a closet creative goddesses dream come true. The things you can do with it are stellar and incredible! Hands down, Bar None!

My issue is that I have so much I have to catch up on, like 10 years worth, I just want to vommit every time I think of it.

With that said, this blog is turning into my scrap book. I have so much to catch up on, mother's day, father's day, this summer, bee stings, progress on the colossal swing set, max biffing it endo style last night. GG's funeral, swimming, museum, weekend in the mountains, movies I think are crap, books I cannot put down. So You think you can dance, Love that show. My crazy garden, growing whatever, whenever it darn well pleases. My all out war on the weeds of my yard. How am I going to combat them when I am old and decrepit?

But I do have to write about one thing, today my kids are loving their playground that Jeb is creating. It's like a playground for grownups. I think this was the idea right from the start. But there is a point at which the kids can climb across a beam, think olympic balance beam, that is 10 feet above the ground. My guys love the height, I hate it. I get a little pang of panic just writing about it. My acrophobia totally kicks in. I am breathing in a brown bag nice and slow as I type. But they are still relentless in their pursuit of giving their mother ulcers and grey hairs. However, our friend Jacob, was over and crossing the balance beam of death. I peaked out the window and promptly used his full name and requested him to get immediately.

My guys were like, "Cmon mom, dad let's us do it!"
"Is dad here?"
"No."
"Then he won't be here to take you to the hospital when you fall and break your arm, your leg, put your eyes back in when they pop out from landing so hard. Please don't climb up there on my watch."
"Mom, you are so dramatic."
This from the family drama queen, Max.

The 10 foot beam will be turned into a tunnel and a placement for swings. If my children live that long to see it come to fruition.

My pride and joy, a random picture of the Shasta Daisy's on crack in my yard! Aren't they awesome?

The wall of Fame!

I know I know, we are completely insane. My husband is a big kid. That's what I love about him. He actually admitted, "Becca, I just need to make the tunnel above the swings big enough for me to fit into and the swings strong enough to hold me."

I knew it, the kids will be competing with the big kid for time on the playground.

Sweet Lullabies

2011-07-06T22:09:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I am feeling all fun and joking on this blog. Other times I am feeling more serious. I love it when Jack is about to fall asleep and he gets so comfy that his body goes a little into Jello and molds into my arms. Then he starts to sing to me, sweet little lullabies that he has heard from me sung to him.

We sing, "Here comes the Sandman," and "How much do I love you?"

Here comes the sandman stepping so lightly,

Stealing along on the tips of his toes,

he sprinkles the sand with his own little hands ,

in the eyes of the sleeping children,

go to sleep my baby close your sleepy eyes,

the lady moon is watching from out the darkened skies,

the little stars are peeping to see if you are sleeping,

so go to sleep my baby go to sleep goodnight.

We sing a similar version, but Jack always asks for the "Sand song." And then when I ask him what it goes like, he just starts singing it to me. It's the sweetest thing ever.

silence and respect

2011-06-30T07:01:00.000-06:00

This week, among other things, I am taking a little break to have a moment of silence for my grandmother who passed away this past Sunday at the impressive age of 92, almost 93 by a couple of weeks. She was quite a woman and a very special part of my life. I will miss her so much but all things happen in their time and season and her season was over. She lived such a great and full life. I will archive more about GG soon. Tomorrow is her funeral.

I can say for this departing it is as it should be. And if I ever am so fortunate to live that long and see so many things, I will count myself blessed as well.

The great wall...

2011-06-22T08:00:00.007-06:00

Two Months ago, my weekend was great and oh so tiresome...

I helped my husband, or rather we helped eachother prepare the ground for a playground on the side of our house. We have always planned on putting one in, it's just now is the time are able to do it. I mean right now, like right this very second. Like I had a hair appointment this past Friday but had to cancel because I know Jeb needed the help.

And of course this isn't just a playground, this is a PLAYGROUND with a retaining wall and is perfectly plumb! I mean it. We have harassed our neighbors with sounds of pounding the bricks, one by one, and the laser level. It's so awesome, it makes a flatline sound when it is perfectly level. In which case I always yell, "Clear!" Ha ha, that get's old really quick. I am my father's daughter. I mean that as a compliment dad!

WE enlisted the help of our strapping young men. The ones whom whine and complain when we ask them to empty the garbage. The ones who say their, "Backpacks are too heavy!" I guess there is a time in everyones life when they realize they can lift more than just their toothbrush. This was their day. Each brick was 24 lbs. Their was lots of grunts, child birthing sounds, passing a large kidney stone. Yep, these guys were dying over these bricks. But 2 hours later, they cleared a whole pallet. Whoopidy doo! They fought well, they carried well and they completed their task.

The next day, they did it again and went 3 times faster and they cleared the next pallet in no time flat. Without any fighting even. It was glorious. It was a proud moment. I thought, "These boys might actually turn out to be strong and helpful men, just maybe."

The next time we asked them to help, it was back to square one, fighting arguing, bickering. But then I told them to turn on their brains and use the gifts "God gave you" to figure out how to accomplish getting the bricks over the fence and over the wall.

They came up with an ingenious idea. I was pleasantly surprised. They grabbed the longest board they could find and created a conveyor belt to slide the bricks down. It went so fast. Lickety split. Super Genius boys!!! They should be wearing capes.

Jeb and I hung out last night while he finished setting the last row. I wasn't feeling well, but I still wanted to be with him and hang out in spite of it all. While he did his own thing, I pulled weeds and busied myself. Jeb said the sweetest thing, "Becca I know I don't tell you enough but you are an amazing woman. You amaze me with all you do. You have a billion things to do during the day, and you work and you raise our kids, and you are a great wife. I know I couldn't do it." No you wouldn't make a good wife. I was a little dumbfounded. What could I say back, "You too!" I didn't say that, but I just smiled and said thanks and kept pulling weeds.

Jeb and I don't always see eye to eye on all things. But he says the right things at the right times and it makes the world melt away for a while and then all there is is just him and me, and the mighty wall we are trying to build.

Working with your spouse on a project is a recipe for disaster for two stubborn hearts. Mine being more stubborn than his. I am so greatful for this project in which we were able to fight and understand and see eye to eye. I appreciate his magnificence in the way he creates. Everything he does is done Plumb, it is perfect. It can be slightly annoying at times, but in the end, he is brilliant and his creations are sound enough to be here to survive the second coming. I love this man whom is madening and wonderful all bundled up into one fabulous soul mate, MINE.

Stats on the wall, 700 stones, 45 bags of concrete, ea weighing 60-80 lbs., 44 tons of dirt and 44 tons of pea gravel, hours of labor so far, 24+, time spent with my spouse, wait for it... PRICELESS!

Forgiveness vs. Permission

2011-06-20T21:31:00.000-06:00

In a little over 2 months, Jeb and I, and our friends are participating in this drunk fest, sober. But you know we are in it for the free beer. ;) ;)

August 20, we are going to Copper Mountain to get dirty, dorn a viking hat and have fun. I seriously hope I am in shape.

I did sign up without consulting the husbee, knowing he would pull the whole, "we don't need to do this and we don't have the money." But I adopted the attitude of, "It is better to ask for fogiveness that permission." Yes, he was a bit perturbed, but truly, he will be bowing down and thanking me for doing something a little different and crazy with our friends. In advance of this praise and adoration, I offer a big, "YOU'RE WELCOME!"

Happy Fourteenth

2011-06-15T08:12:00.002-06:00

On the fourteenth of June, Nineteen Hundred and Ninety Seven, I married a great guy. And this year we celebrated our FOURTEENTH anniversary.

Whenever I think of an anniversary, I just want to sing the "Happy Anniversary Song" from So I Married an Axe Murderer.

It's been a great ride. I find that getting married is like a game of Russian Roulet. You date, you attempt to get to know eachother, in the hopes you find a good match. In our culture, LDS, courting is so short. And I shake my head that I lucked out to find and grow to really love Jeb, and I really like him. We drive eachother crazy sometimes, as any good and respectable lengthy friendship does.

Jeb makes me laugh... this is the most important part of our relationship, the fact that we can still laugh and laugh hard together. The things I love about his man lately are:

1. He does a hilarious impression of a "dot" Indian.
2. I thought he drew on my face with permanent marker the other morning when I didn't want to get out of bed. It was so funny.
3. He is seriously a great chef. I call him Bobby Flay for two reasons, one he kindof looks like him. two, he can throw down some serious grub.
4. Jeb keeps me grounded when I feel a little crazy, and I don't know I am feeling that way.
5. Jeb is a man's man. He fixes everything, he makes everything perfect with his Engineer eye. It might make the world around him crazy, but you know what, HE DOESN'T CARE. I like that, because I can't help but care.
6. I love it that Jeb coached a soccer team that he really didn't like. He stuck through eight weeks of torture, so did Gavin for that matter.
7. Jeb's hair is going nowhere fast! I love his full crazy head of hair. In fact, every year I challenge him to grow it out, like Napoleon Dynomite. He CLAIMS he can't due to work related dressing standards! Whatevs!

See, he can totally pull this off. Halloween this year we are doing it. I will be Pedro. I haven't waxed in a while anyway.

What I am trying to say is I am thankfully still super into this guy. He's a Good Man, a good father, and a fantastic kisser! After all these years, my life would be so different and a little sad and dreary without him. I love you my SHMOOPY. Thanks for a fun night, Simpson's style. I will not say what that is, but it was fun! Nothing like a little Noodles and Company and a good flick, True Grit.

Thanks to Tiff for taking the kids overnight. It was nice.

pedogate, 2011

2011-06-09T09:54:00.001-06:00

We were exposed to the unpleasantness of society yesterday. While minding our own business and hanging at the local library, a man walked up to boys, asked if they wanted to "see this" and then proceeded to undo his pants and his undies. He grabbed Max's arm and pulled him closer. Gavin pulled Max away and pushed him into the kids section of the library where there were more people around. I wasn't there. I was getting a new library card for Gavin and didn't see them at all. I told the boys to take Jack into the kids' section of the library and I would meet them there. I found them 15 minutes later in the farthest corner of the library. Max told me in privacy what happened and I instantly turned into a mad raging wild momma bear. All I wanted to do was find this guys and kick him in the goods, spit in his face and make a public spectacle of him. HOW DARE anyone mess with my kids, or any ones kids. They are KIDS!

Enough time had elapsed as to where we couldn't find him. He was caught on tape. We gave our report to the librarians. We called the police and they came over and took our statement. Now, we get to have an investigator come out and interview the kiddos. I got to talk to the Victim's unit of the county Sheriff's dept, and today I am thinking, is this really me? Did this really just happen to my family?

Granted it could have been a lot worse. A lot! But Max is seriously traumatized. I think we all are with the realization that this could happen anytime, anywhere to anyone.

Be careful with your kiddos... Especially at the dang library apparently. Talk to your kids about stranger danger and inappropriate behavior of strangers. Tell them to scream and yell and kick if they have to to get away from someone. I feel as though my boys did the right thing. They got away and went to where there were people. Gavin stepped in and protected his family, the best way he knew how. Remind your kids what to do if something happens and emphasize being a good witness. Be observant. Most importantly, No One has the right to treat anyone this way. No one!

My heart is a little sad and foggy today.

Feel Good...

2011-06-04T18:27:00.000-06:00

I saw this on Yahoo.com today and had to share. If you haven't seen it, it will make you smile big and cheesey like.

Happy weeekend. I espcially love her reaction!

my monthly bad language confession

2011-06-01T21:55:00.000-06:00

Uggghhh, yep again one of those dirty words krept in at just the wrong time. I was in the office, working and talking on the phone. I could hear the kiddos getting a little crazy. When this happens behind closed doors it is like listening to a wave rush in. You can hear it coming and getting louder and then it crests, in the form of Gavin hitting his head on the corner, and lots of crying.

Gavin came in, clobbered his head on the corner, his favorite one as of late which was followed by lots of bleeding, which was followed by a little bit of, "Oh S#$%."

I feel if I confess these things than maybe I will be shamed into not saying it again. But I am afraid it is hard wired into me and will never be purged in a moment of stress or panic. Oh well, perhaps the confessions are merely to amuse myself and know that everyone has a vice, mine just happens to be the S word.

i made it to third base

2011-05-25T23:30:00.000-06:00

Watching my kids play sports has stirred something in me. I find myself wanting to get out there and play on a soccer team too. And baseball is no exception. Just to be able to run and work as a team seems so exciting to me for some reason. I played sports in middle school. I was so lanky and skinny, looked like a super awkward freak. I had no skill, but I had a lot of heart and was always one to smack someone with my wild arms by "accident." I think maybe the thing that gave me a sour taste in my mouth after middle school sports was, a) there was a girl on my 8th grade basketball team who got pregnant. This was horrible for me, mostly because I was still in my training bras and I couldn't believe anyone could get pregers at 14. Yikes. b) I seemed to always get in fights with the very scary ghetto girls on the opposite teams. I didn't have any skills with fighting ghetto style. And I was a little fearful it would only get worse in High School. c) I sold out to the Band, whole-heartedly. My friends were in the band, I marched in the band and played everything in the band. It was a year long commitment, for four years, and I had a great time. But I missed out on those sports.

Oh wait, I did play tennis, and I sucked, bad. It was one of those sports where I started out playing really well every day, and then slowly my play deteriorated by the end of each practice. Although, one of my coaches looked like John Stamos. My other coach looked just like Michael Douglas in "Falling Down." We were afraid of royally pissing him off. We did one time, and he went a little bizerk. I just noticed that movie has a pirate rating of "R." What can I say, I have sworn off R movies now, in high school, I wasn't the shining example of awesomeness I am now... wink wink.

So, here I am. Wanting to join any team and play some sports. I was talking to my friend about this desire and she asked if I wanted to play on her softball team. I told her my aim was crappy at best, and I run like a girl, a girly girl. She didn't care. She said they were all only out there to have fun. Fun? Wow, that sounds perfect to me. I am a little used to the competitive side of Jeb that makes me forget that you are supposed to have fun on the field. So I signed up, committed to an entire summer of fun with a bunch of girls playing ball in the diamond. The team was called Bacon and Eggs. It was some type of play on words with the wives of police officers playing on the team, being the eggs.

I showed up to the first game and realized it was actually co-ed. Which I didn't have a problem with at all. I am happy and comfy in my marriage. We had a good time. Everyone was super nice, my friend was fun to hang out with. We totally lost the game. But I did get to bat twice. I think the other team was making fun of my swing, but I don't speak ball language. I think I even heard, "Easy Out!" I did connect with the ball and ran swiftly to first base. It was so fun. Then the next batter hit and I made it to second base. Wow, I was on my way to score! The next batter swang and I ran to third base. Bases Loaded. Woo hoo. If I scored, the game would be tied. And then, the batter struck out. Rats. But at least I made it to third base. The game ended, we had fun, it was a blast. I couldn't wait to play again.

I came home and told Jeb all about it. He was happy for me and excited. Then he stopped, "Did you say this is a co-ed team?"

"Yes. I didn't know that when I signed up, but it is." I paused not catching on to my jealous husband.

"Is that all right with you?"

"Well, I guess."

"What's wrong?"

"I think I am a little Jealous."

"Really, I haven't seen you jealous in a while. For sure I won't play if you feel that way."

"No, it's o.k. You can play."

"Really? No, I don't want you to feel that way about it. I wouldn't care if you played on a co-ed team." But that was a lie, if Jeb played on a team with a bunch of hot blonds that were great at softball, I would be very jealous.

"You should totally play. You had fun."

But then I started thinking about the divorce I witnessed lately that chills my bones and makes me nauseated when I think of it. There is no reason to even entertain an activity that makes my husband feel slightly uneasy. No one, I mean no one, needs that in their marriage. There is too much working against family as it is.

So the next day, I paid my fees for the team and then quit. It was a little hard to do it. I had fun, it was good to get exercise and play with adults. But once the decision was made, it was final and I didn't think about it anymore.

And hey, I did make it to third base! ;)

I think

2011-05-24T11:06:00.000-06:00

When Jack gets old enough to babysit, he is going to be excellent. I am in my office, trying to crank out some work when I hear this conversation,

"Hey Sisser Morgenegg, Jack is being mean." Jane says.

"Jane, what is he doing?" I ask

"He's not letting me go." Jane replies.

"Jack, leave Jane alone. Play with something else."

"I want to go see my mom and Jack says I can't." Jane cries.

"Your mom will be back in a little while." I try to comfort her.

"But your mom is in Jail!" Jack says, doing His best to comfort her.

She is still crying.

The Auction outfit this year...Mork and Trani-Mindy

2011-05-22T22:31:00.000-06:00

This is me, a month and a half ago, at the school auction. I think I was mostly Mindy, with a side of Trani.

I am so keeping the dress and the wig. Nanoo nanoo.

Distractions...

2011-05-20T08:00:00.000-06:00

There is so much good stuff to blog about and so many distractions.

Distraction #1

I feel like I am reading Twilight and cannot get enough of it. It is a great story and a well-written series for young adults. I have ignored my house, my children and this blog all in the name of a good read. Thank you Suzanne Collins for my neglect. It has been a good distraction.

Distraction #2

No kidding. That's what my kids have been doing lately, or not doing it, I should say. So we have burning the midnight oil all in the name of catch up, procrastination at it's finest. I am sure I am raising a bunch of slackers. I still have time to reverse the genetics. Must fight the nature in me to teach them more procrastinating. I love the 9pm requests, "Mom, I have a presentation tomorrow, can you get 2 million marshmallows, 500 disposable cups and some toothpicks? I need them." You're going to need more than that to help you get out of the wrestling move I am going to put on you boys.

Distraction #3

From randomness wall roler coaster, and jack

This face. I love this kid, he makes me laugh lately and I cannot get enough of him. Love him to death. He is at that age, love/hate age. He is either loving on me with kisses and hugs or he is hitting me and wishing I was "not his mommy." That's my strong-willed boy. Heaven help me not raise a spoiled brat!

Distraction #4

From Park Avenue Skinny Reps Final

My biz! It's a blast, but kicking my rear-end. Yay! Avenue B is off to a good start for this half of the year, let's hope it keeps going. Let's hope no seasoned photographers speak of my work devaluing theirs, let's hope I just get better and more creative and keep having a passion for something I truly love.

Distraction #5

Hulu, it's a beautiful thing. You should definitely start wasting as much time watching your favorite shows now! I know I have and it is cathartic. My choices are Glee, the Office, Parks and Rec, Outsourced, and the Simpsons. What can I say. We don't watch these all in one sitting. But they do help the time fly when you are doing laundry, and just cannot fall asleep.

Distraction #6

Fear of Summer. (enter scary death music, like Jaws, or Psycho) Ugh, a few weeks away and my little rug rats will be home full-time. Wanting some entertainment. Entertainment I cannot and am not willing provide round the clock. Already they fight non-stop. A curse my mother passed onto me...thanks for nothing. Is there enough pozac to get through this summer?

Dishes

2011-05-11T07:58:00.000-06:00

We have this joke around our house.

Knock knock?
Who's there?
Dishes.
Dishes Who?
Dishes the police.

Owen usually tells this and it's so cute. If Max or Gavin were to tell it, I am afraid I would have to roll my eyes.

Gavin hates the dishes. He hates all the nasty old food that is hanging out in the sink until it gets rescued and sent on its way down the drain. No matter how much arguing, weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth this boy does, he still has to do the dishes. To solve his problem of complete disgust, he wears plastic gloves.

Happy Birthday Owen, Oboe, Sea Dog Ford

2011-05-10T09:13:00.001-06:00

This wreath has the best story possible**

Owen's Birthday last week was a piratey, booty laden, treasure chesting blast. We decided to "save money" and keep the parties close to home, yet I think we still spent the same had we actually gone somewhere else.

I can't believe my boy is 6. My little curly haired brunette is without a doubt the sunshine in my days. Gavin and Max used to be that adorable in all ways possible. But then they grew up and grew an independence right along with it. Owen is on the tail end of the "can do no wrong" stage of life. I am relishing in his tender self until the inevitable happens, maturity, all day school, and girls!

Owen was up at the crack of dawn, begging for the party to start and being sorely disappointed when we told him to please, for the love, go back to bed.

The night before, at late thirty of course, I scoured the net for some printables to help boost the piratey flare of the party. I came up with this EXCELLENT SITE!!! She is pretty much a super genius and her narrative is right up my ally. A lot of inner reflection and funny commentary. Check it!

We made paper hats with their very own pirate names on them...

My favorite name is Poopdeck Pete Vargas.

These are the cupcakes with the darling printables I got from that site I mentioned above.

Cute Friends, get ready to talk like a pirate.

The younger kids, eating at the table. Good choice.

We went on a treasure hunt for booty. Here we are sailing our ships on the windy stormy sea.

Found the first booty, bubbles.

I love Jack's face in this one.

Later that night, we opened more presents and had a dinner specially ordered by Owen. Breakfast for dinner.

The Vulcan crazy Nerf Gun. It is huge.

A happy little six year-old. Had a fun day, got some loot and is ready for a good sleep. I wish I was six again. The life of a kid, it is awesome.

Happiest day to you Owen, I love from here to the moon and back a million times.

**At one of those "Enrichment" meetings, I went and participated in a random gift exchange. I sat next to one of the "Martha Stewarts" in my congregation. We have like 5 craft goddesses just a phone call away. I was predicting what Angie brought and said, "I bet it's something that makes your hosting a party super awesome. You always do the cutest, most creative stuff." She said, "Well then you are definitely going to want mine." We cheated in a matter of speaking, she told which gift was hers and I told her which one was mine. Mine wasn't nearly as cute, it was lotion from Bath and Body.

I knew my kids would go bananas over this wreath, so I put it in my closet and hoped they wouldn't find it. They did and started walking around with water balloons. Magically. So this wreath, which Jeb makes fun of, is one of my favorite decorations, thank you Angie, and back it off kids.

The Trani Wreck (get it, not train wreck?) Tail of a Shim

2011-05-09T23:05:00.029-06:00

I don't think life is ever going to calm down, ever! Starting a few Saturdays ago when I was at a photo shoot for Josh and Carle Hoffman. While shooting this wedding, I got in a supremely awesome fender bender. The best part, let me tell you the best part.

I was given strict instructions to have those kids in and out of shooting within an hour. I got "the look" and I am such a pleaser, I thought, "Well Jeepers, I better hurry." You can't hurry "art." I always think that when I pretend I am Annie Leibovitz.

But here is the problem, when I was driving, I missed my turn and pulled off to the shoulder to do a U-turn. The place we were shooting at had a lot of traffic and only one lane each direction. Not to mention, lots of road bikes. I was looking both ways. Making certain I didn't kill anyone, those bikers, I always want to give them a wide berth. Josh and Carle were right behind me getting ready to flip a U as well. I remember thinking as soon as those bikers pass, I am clear. I looked and looked, and went for it.

Then suddenly out of the corner of my eye I saw a black streak zip by and I slammed on the brakes but still barely made contact with them. I use barely loosely.

We got out of our respective cars and exchanged information. Two ladies, a little perturbed, I would be too. They kept giving me the "you're an idiot" look. And I kept thinking, you guys were speeding. But verbally we were all nice to each other.

One of the gals spoke to me and we started to exchange information which made me do a double take. Because I swear she had the voice of a husky man. Yet to look at her, she had the appearance of a well endowed woman. I mean, she had a nice rack. But, something wasn't matching up.

I knew I was right when she or I mean he said, "My name is Christine." I was like, "You mean Christopher?"

Celeste and I were shaking our heads and smiling and realized we had hit the nicest people to hit, Texas Tranis. No kidding. They were kind. Didn't cuss me out or pull a gun on me for being a doofus. It was awesome, but still. I had and still do have that moment of W T F (reak)?

I hit a Shim, combination of a "she" and a "him."

I was put into my dream SUV, a Nissan Armada. That thing is a total beast and I couldn't wait to get behind the wheel of it. My children actually had pride in their family's vehicle. They felt so cool. They thought we had just got a new car. O contraire my naive children. A. We couldn't afford a monster machine like that, and B. with the cost of gas, in your dreams Mr. Beans. There is no way we could afford to drive it. I think, and this could have been on a good day, it got 9 miles to the gallon.

But I do hope in a couple of years, when we start making the big bucks, har har, that is not going to happen, that we can get a fuel efficient SUV. Crap I feel like I totally contradicted myself in that last sentence.

In the mean time, I will just hang this picture in my medicine cabinet next to my picture of Daniel Craig. Wink wink.

All I have to say is if I do get to own one of those machines, Trani's beware. I won't be taking off just your bumper next time.

**Jeb in all his supportiveness, grabbed a piece of the Trani's car and put it away for a rainy day. I am expecting it on my birthday in a shadow box.

Dear

2011-05-05T09:12:00.000-06:00

Dear Nerf and manufacturers of bright colored weaponry...

My six year-old son is now in possession of one of your largest models. I think it is bigger than he is. For his birthday he also received two more Nerf guns, smaller and easily held with one hand. Those guns have batteries and propel whistly bullets at my head faster than you can say retreat! I just wanted to thank you for helping me to live in fear of being in my own home when the above said six year-old is in stealth mode. He also enlists the help of his ever willing 3 year-old brother who also mightily shoots me with your "soft" bullets. It is great fun. One word comes to mind when I am being attacked by children half my size, one word. REVENGE. Also, do you make any in Pink?

Sincerely, Becca

Dear hidden zits on my face,

I know you are there. You hurt everytime I brush my hair out of my forhead or graze my chin. When I find you, when you finally rear your ugly head, you are going down in the form of my husband, the zit popper! I understand you only come up when I am stressed out. You used to be a regualr on my face during college finals. I haven't seen you in a while and haven't missed you. Be warned, being cowardly only makes me mad. Show your face!

Disgusted, Becca

Dear Target,

I am sick of you. Thank you for providing all the overpriced goods I can imagine. I love your clean isles and friendly tellers. Red is a good color for you!

Yours, Becca

Dear Walmart,

I hate you. Yet I am drawn by your undeniable cheep goods. Still, do you have have to have all the super slow tellers. YOu have miles of checkout lanes, and only two people working at a time. Also, is there anyone ever in that store whom can help me find your ever changing location of the candy isle? I hope I don't see you for a few days.

Regards, Becca

Dear Sleep,

I miss you so much!

Love, Becca

Good weekend

2011-05-01T23:47:00.002-06:00

Just really quickly, I had a good weekend. Yippy and I am going to tell all about it before I forget.

Friday night, we went to Bruce's the celebrate his birthday! Yay, we are so glad he is still around! After the festivities, I went to Tiffany's house. You know what we watched? Yep, the WEDDING. THE WEDDING of the year. I gobbled every second of it up. It was the bestest and I went to bed happy. Woke up happy, smiled at everyone because it was such a beautiful thing to witness.

Although, here are my opinions on the wedding. Kate's dress? Gorgeous. William? Dashing. Harry? My mother has a crush on him, me too. Kate's sister? I am inspired to run more and get my butt like hers. The hats? Spectacular and amazing. I did not like the blue number worn by some "English socialite." I even liked Fergie's daughter's attire. They were tacky and daring, but I think it's their personality to give the throne a little embarrassment. I like them and their tacky ways. David Beckham? Yummy. Posh Spice? Get that thing off the hat, you might maim your husband. That would be a crime against a very lovely gene pool. Did anyone else notice Rowin Atkinson? Mr. Bean. When the middle part of the ceremony was getting boring, I mean BORING, and the man turned around the marry them, I thought it would have been great to have it be Mr. Bean whom married them and made it all go wrong.

Tiffany and I got very punchy. During that boring part also, we started quoting the Princess Bride, "Maiwage! Is wat bwings us togefer today!" Then Tiff blurted out, "Say man and wife! Man and Wife!" That line had new meaning after all the blah blah blah and singing. Some of the blah blah blah was very nice and meaningful. The singing was amazing. But those poor choir boys...their outfits looked very hot and itchy around the neck. They were great.

Is it me or did anyone else notice the royal couple's eyes getting heavy? Kate did such a good job of sitting up straight as a pole in that chair and not nodding off. I totally would have. This is where I thought a good speaker could have been Sean Connery on Saturday Night Live! Celebrity Jeopardy (that is a slightly trashy clip, but it makes me laugh so hard)

I left Tiff's house at 2:30 in the AM. We were cheering and smiling as they rode of in their carriages. How awesome was it? It is a sight I will never forget. I had to leave before I could see Camilla's god daughter frowning, which I find HILARIOUS! Three-year olds are so awesome.

I remembered I had a race with the kids at 7:30 AM. We made it. We ran both the mile and the 5K. Max could only do the mile before his feet totally started to bug him. But Gavin, my kid whom hates soccer with every fiber of his being, ran both races too and beat me both times. I was mocked to scorn for this by Gavin's Music teacher, Mr. Smith. But I only went in behind him because I wanted to run with him in the 5K. One of the other mom's totally smoked me with a crappy time. So I have vowed to improve my mile time and beat her next time. Yes, I am stupidly competitive.

The rest of the day consisted of freezing my fanny off at Owen's soccer game. Shooting some Seniors, some really good looking ones too. Making a lousy bland dinner and playing games with our neighbors, the Chatterly's. It was a BLAST. We struck the neighbor gold mine. I won the first game. Go me. Which means JEB LOST. Yay, go Jeb!

Sunday has been great. Good lessons in church today, and young women's was again great. Another fab lesson by McCall. I am teaching next week and already know I will have to perform some magic tricks to compare with the stellar lesson taught today.

This next week I have two birthday parties to throw, one for Owen and one for Max. Does anyone have any ideas about Owen's party? I am to entertain 7 five year-olds for 2.5 hours. What do you think?

Wish me luck and more sleep.

Max, my sensitive soul

2011-04-28T08:49:00.001-06:00

Max came into my room last night before going to bed saying he was scared. We go through this once a night. His answer surprised me this time. "I am afraid of Sponge Bob."

I know! Sponge Bob is the most ridiculous, goofy, silly, and hilarious guy on Nickelodeon. I love sponge bob. "Max, are you serious?"

"Yes, there was an episode with a scary slasher on it."

"But Max, Sponge Bob has friends named Squidward and Patrick (I even used the Patrick voice). He works at the crabby paTty in a town called Bikini Bottom! Isn't any of that funny you?"

"No. The slasher is so scary..."

"Sorry you are scared Max."

Jeb chimed in with a dramatic eye roll and then, "Is he in the house?"

"NO."

"Then go brush your teeth. Goodnight."

Nuff said.

discoveries

2011-04-28T08:00:00.000-06:00

I discovered many things today...thing profound and otherwise disgusting...
Today I discovered

Owen had a project due tonight for a "Cultural Relevance Night" at his school. He was assigned to complete a 10 page book complete with coloring, writing, and research! He's in kindergarten for crying out loud! He completed it in an hour and a half. There was a little bit of weeping and waling and gnashing of teeth, but overall, he overcame and rocked it. *Why in the world are they calling it cultural relevance night? Are some cultures irrelevant? I noticed there weren't any Tibetans or better any Aurorans there. They are culturally relevant. Where's the love?
Owen left a sippy-cup of warm milk face down next to his bed, out of eye sight. It has been their since last Friday night. Yes it smelled like a combination of armpit stench, foot juice after a 2 week camp out, and urine. Go bacteria go! This "fluid" ran down the wall, on his bed and onto the carpet. I was....uh hum....thrilled. From this I discovered...
Owen was stashing all of his belongings, books, toys, Jack's things, clean clothes, stuffed animals, and friends under his bed. O.K. his friends weren't under there, but I wouldn't have been surprised otherwise. From this I found...
My missing vacuum tube! Eureka! I have been looking for that thing for a long time and have secretly thought Jeb might have used it as a tool in the yard, for shame.
Today, Jack Jack said many things out loud in my general direction. I am not saying he was directing these comments at me, but they were the following, "Butt-Head! Idiot! and You're Naked!"
Max has high arches! Whoopity doo! But this is hurting his feet really bad when he runs. So I will be buying my 8.9 year old arch supports. Nice.
Jeb and Gavin are both being tortured through soccer, yet I couldn't be more proud of them. Jeb dreads it because a) the kids are a little silly and lack talent, therefore the team is totally defeated this season b) coaches son is the worst on the team c) all the rest of the kids on the team call Jeb coach Yeb--English is their second language...so to talk to the parents is a bit of a challenge. BUT...Gavin, knowing that he hates going has never once, NOT once complaned about going to practice. He's no dummy, he knows he is less than stellar, yet he keeps going every week, 3x's per week. I will not sign him up for team sports again. But, by golly I am so proud of that boy whom shows up to practice and tries his hardest every time. He hates it, but he is seeing it through to the end.
I hate ADHD. Yet, I love it. I think all of life's little challenges in our paths are there to teach us something new about ourselves. So for this, I am grateful. Grateful to have grown more patient, to love in spite is crippling disabling behavior and accept it. These are beyond hard things to come to terms with. It's hard when life and your children are different than what you ordered from the "menu." But I am grateful for the harder path, the different order. It's forcing me to be a better parent and person, to grow up. That which doesn't kill us (or our kids) makes us stronger.
Finally, I discovered I am not a fan of the visiting teaching program. 1 hour visits just might lead me over the edge of rudeness and a prompt request to vacate my humble abode. Seriously, I love visiting, but that is one hour of my life I will NEVER get back. I could have been using it to do something I actually needed to do, like check for holes in my eye lids, fold a MOUNTAIN of laundry, which I ended up doing until 12 midnight.
Oh wait, I discovered Glee is a perfectly good waste of that hour I lost to fold laundry and watch some smut and trash. But it's my indulgance, wrong or right, I love that show. It's my coffee through chores.
One more thing, I miss a flat stomach, a firm butt, and toned arms.

That is all...Till next time.

**I am also totally JAZZED about the royal wedding this Friday. Anyone up for a early morning watching with me? I am.

Happy Easter!

2011-04-24T14:55:00.001-06:00

Happy Easter from our family to yours. It's been a great day so far. Jeb went to the store at late 30 last night and grabbed the last of our Easter preparations. I filled baskets this morning at 6:30 and left them in front of the kids' doors. They all rushed in and declared the Easter bunny had visited. How did he get in under the alarm on the house? "I don't know bunnies are sneaky I guess." I have such a hard time telling the kids lies about the bunny whom steals my thunder. They also wanted to know the name of the famed bunny, "Ralphy." "Really? Have you met him?" Uhhh... what to say. "No, but if he were my bunny I would name him Ralphy."

This is Max I am having a conversation with, he knows there isn't an Easter Bunny but he wants to bait his brothers. We have a hush conversation about my desire not to perpetuate the lie. He drops his head defeated.

I will say church was GREAT today. Good talks all around and McCall B. gave the greatest Easter Sunday lesson ever. All in the form of a slide show. Magnificent. She is going to be a tough act to follow when I have to teach next week. Uggghhh...

Happy Easter friends. Glad to know you all. Glad to know my Savior loves me enough to do what he did for me. And I am so grateful for those little rascals whom fill my life with so much laughter.

Ciao.

shameless promotion

2011-04-21T17:12:00.000-06:00

Hey friends and party people, I am having an estate sale, selling off some of GG's shtuff from her apartment. Come by and say hi to me, buy some lemonade from my children. I do have a super cute white writing desk that needs a good home. I would just give this stuff away, but alas, I cannot. We are in need of some things only a respectable garage sale can take care of. Would love to see you all. Call me if you need directions, 720-839-0733.

Here is my ad in craigslist if you are interested!

Caio friends.

some days feel like a three in one

2011-04-10T21:41:00.000-06:00

Saturday was one of those days...

In the morning, I went to two soccer games, at the same time for Gavin and Max. Mental note, never put Gavin in Soccer unless he really wants to, then talk him out of it.

Signed up Max and Owen for Baseball.

Came home and cleaned the kitchen. Is the day over yet?

Went to the Temple to photograph a beautiful post nuptial scene. This couple looked amazing together! Really stellar.

On the way to my second location, I ran into another car. I didn't look over my should the 100th time and nailed them on a U-turn.

Is the day over yet?

Came home, cried a lot. Wallowed in self-pitty. Pulled myself together. Went to the reception for an hour. And then, awesome Lindsay stepped up to shoot the rest of the reception. I had to leave for the school auction.

I got to the auction, husband my elbow, dressed up looking like a drag queen trying to be Mindy of Mork and Mindy and had a good time.

Yep that counts for three days right?

Details and pictures to come. I am still bumming over the wreck and trying not to count myself as the biggest bozo on the planet.

By the end of the day, my feet hurt, my brain hurt and the soccer games felt like they happened yesterday. I felt like I had been ridden hard and put away wet. I mean that in a race horse kind of way ;)

Nanoo Nanoo

2011-04-08T06:51:00.002-06:00

This weekend is my children's annual school auction. And as usual I will be helping out during the live auction and maybe running around and taking pictures of the attendees. The theme this year is "Out of this World."

At first I was going to go with some super fly Trekky costume. yes I used the words Fly and Treky in the same sentence. But did you know people want A LOT of money for you to unlock your closet dork side.

So instead I am siding with a more classic, vintage sci-fi approach. Mork and Mindy. The auction co-chair's husband is dressing up as Mork, and I get to be Mindy. I even bought a sweet dress at Unique Thrift (thank you Rachel Struhs for the tip) and a wig to make oh so more authentic.

Pictures to come on Monday. I will not be cutting my bangs for this!

For past auction refrences, go here, and here.

Just call me Darla

2011-04-06T07:33:00.001-06:00

I have spent the past week taking care of my nieces' petting zoo, and I happily did it. She has a wide assortment of animals she loves with every molecule of her being. I am talking a turtle, 3 fish, 3 rabbits, 1 cat, and a large variety of plants. She left town and put us, me and the little men, in charge of them. We watered and fed and played and brushed. I had no idea a cat could crap so big, but Inky, you have made your kind very proud. Did I mention I am allergic to all of the above furry animals. Yet, I love them.

When I was a kid, my sister and I would go out on my grandparents ranch and work our little fannies off communing with the land and nature. We played with horses, chased ducks, pet the 6 pawed cat named Merle, skipped rocks, and had the time of our lives. We also loved these precious little bunnies on the ranch. My sister and I went bananas! We "hugged them and loved them and pet them." We even gave them special homes just for them, in our brand new purses. Then, just because we thought it would be so fun, we would swing those poor bunnies in our purses around and around like an amusement park ride, the swings comes to mind. Or better yet, perhaps the testing astronauts go though is a little closer to the ride the bunnies got. None of the bunnies died as a "direct" result of our "super care," but you gotta wonder if we rattled their brains beyond repair.

With that said, I took great caution in watching my nieces' animals. I was very responsible. We all were, everyone but Jack. He came up to me with wet hands one morning while we were tending the pets. I panicked and ran up to the fish area. Jackson wanted one of the fishies to take a nap, or dry out a little, or something. Anyway, when I found the fishy, he was sitting dry docked in the net on top of the bowl. I promptly placed him back in the water and he seemed good as new. Seemed, until the next day when his body was looking a little strange and scum was starting to accumulate. He was dead. I felt terrible.

I explained the situation to the aformentioned niece and she was none to happy about it. I knew she would be angry and mad and I felt terrible. She didn't have any kind words for me either. As I was explaining my feelings to the husband, Gavin was listening in.

"Jeb, I feel terrible. Not only that, but I am going to be labeled a fish killer!"

Gavin says, "You are that girl from Finding Nemo, Darla."

Thanks Gavin, and he just kept calling me Darla when he addressed me too.

It doesn't even matter that 95% of the animals survived. One scrawny crappy fish ruined my reputation and crowning glory as favorite aunt of the year!

This face says it all

2011-04-05T08:00:00.000-06:00

This is my Jack at a photo shoot I went on a few weeks ago. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. And Jack always begs me to "take a piture" of him. And when I do point the camera at him, this is what I get.

Nonchalant

2011-04-04T08:00:00.003-06:00

I guess it's about time my boys went shopping in the ladies section with me. I mean it's been at least a year since I have HAD to go to that section to buy some unmentionables.

My friend is getting married next Saturday. Her wedding shower was last weekend and boy did she score in the basic necesseties department. I knew she would, therefore I felt it my duty to get her something to make her blush. Something to make everyone in the room remember the days of wild times as a newly wed.

I tried to do a "drive by" if you will, of the lingerie section at Target. But then I couldn't find anything. Before I knew it, I was pulling teeny tiny this and that off the racks along with matching thongs.

Max and I had the same thought at the exact same time. He looked at me and I looked at him and said, "No Max, these are not for me. Not at all. Not even slightly." He looked so relieved. Ugghhhh, visual images out! But then the next question was naturally, "Who are these for? And why?"

"Well, my friend is getting married and she needs some hot momma pajamas. All righty, let's get out of here o.k.? Should we go to the Lego section?" The lesser of two evils.

My diversion worked and there were no more questions. I cannot wait to have the talk with Max. Poor kid. I should have skipped the lingerie section all together. But my friend needed a little sultry momma help. I cannot disappoint. Right?

The Pinewood Derby

2011-03-31T07:25:00.000-06:00

This year's pinewood derby went totally rad. Mostly because Jeb finally made fast, I am sorry. I mean, the boys finally made fast cars.

Gavin went super original, and stuck with his same design that he has used for the past 2 years. But this time, it had a little blue to it.

Max's was probably one of my faves, he went oceanic this year in the name of the fearsome shark.

They did fantastic. I helped in my small way by grabbing supplies from a "hobby store" on my way home from school. Who knew graphite shavings could be so slippery on the little crappy wheels on the cars?

Gavin placed 2nd and Max placed third overall. I guess that means they get to go to some district competition where a bunch of men teach their sons how to act really mature. I picture it being very similar to an elks lodge gathering, no girls allowed. Heavy on the stinky excitement and light on the sportsmanship. I guess we will see.

To be true to my alma mater, I was glued to my friends crackberry during the final minutes of the BYU final 16 bid in basketball. Firstly, I haven't spent one single solitary second on this March Madnessness (new word :)) Yet, the irony that this crucial game was on during the pinewood derby was pretty much the fuel for my curiosity. Jeb had gotten together with a friend and mapped out the brackets and entered pools guessing whom would be the best team in the end, all over dinner at Chiles.* It's a perfectly fun waste of time. I was left with a cliff hanger, over time, and had to go congratulate my kiddos on a job well done!

Max was elsewhere when his award was handed out. I was so proud of him, until I had to accept the award for him.

A shameful and humble Max. Thank you for acting remorseful for not being in the room when they announced your name.

In general, it was fanfreakintastic. My family had a good time, sonic for dinner and medals and prize winning cars in the end. However, BYU lost it's steam in the end and lost. Bummer, but I am still proud of them for making it that far and putting a little excitement back into March Madness. Go cougars!

*on a side note, Tiffany ran into them with her girls. They thought Jeb and Jared were such "nerds" for discussing this over a dinner with friends. Tiffany chimed in and said, "Well it's better than other things husbands could be doing away from their families." Ouch and true Tiffany.

I am awesome

2011-03-29T17:55:00.000-06:00

I got a call from a potential photo client yesterday. Let me tell how much of a mental filter I wish I had, and how much the lack thereof makes me... unique.

We were chatting, having a good chat. Then it came up in the conversation that she is a school psychologist. I laughed and said, "Oh that is so great, I have four boys and will be asking you some advice. To beat them or not to beat them..."

Her response? Stunned silence.

I really wonder if I am going to get the gig now?

That's right, I am awesome, and not in a good way.

I feel a little like Brittany from Glee

2011-03-25T07:23:00.001-06:00

One of my favorite quotes from that show is when Brittany says, "I think my cat has been reading my diary."

Gavin just told me he did a search for his name on google and the top hit was my blog...

So my son read it at school with his friends. I just don't know how I feel about that. A little like Brittany from Glee.

Should I finally privatize this thing?

*Glee is admittedly one of the trashiest shows of our time. It helps get through the long monotonous hours of folding laundry when no one else is around.

Random thoughts...

2011-03-24T12:23:00.000-06:00

This week,

I ruined a pan making mac and cheese...COMPLETELY SHAMEFULL
I started a non-carb diet and folded on wednesday when i made some banana bread for my little minions. Although my stomach hurts now, so I am back!
I painted my nails and they are growing! This is exciting, I am a biter.
Vacuumed more than once this week and dusted.
getting caught up on my business
returned my camera...wasn't generating enough business. Anyone have any marketing strategies? I am a little clueless
watched my sons play soccer...wondered if I am nuts for putting my child in soccer when he is about as unathletic as they come. I hope he ends the season with his self esteem intact.
got good vibes from this girl, made my week, still floating on it
started reading East of Eden...kindof love it so far.
I think my husband is a rock star, because after all these years, we still love eachother, even a little more now than the day before.
Jack Jack has dimples that peak at me when he smiles...
Owen, has the longest hair right now, I cannot wait to cut in on Saturday. Thank you Whitney!
Max is a drama queen full of rage and doesn't know how to control it. He's only 8, what am I going to do when you mix large doses of testosterone with that? Hire Chuck Norris.
Gavin, my kid I love but am puzzled by. It's a little frustrating and I really need to get over it. I mean, he is better than my expectations, and he will turn out better than my dreams. Right?
And finally, I am going to finish my curtains for my kitchen this week. The sunrise spotlight is causing temporary blindness and paralysis in people over the age of 20 in my house. They are going to be pretty sweet. Pictures to come.

Thanks for reading my randomness.

After the talk

2011-03-21T08:00:00.000-06:00

Well that went over awesome. We asked Gavin where he wanted to go out to dinner and he picked Red Lobster. Kind of ironic considering Jeb isn't a fan of seafood.

We let Gavin have whatever he wanted, he ordered the Cedar Plank Salmon...yummy! He didn't let me have one bite. And that's o.k., I let him discover that he thinks lobster is bland and boring in comparison. But my tummy was happy and full of yummy crustaceans.

We were actually seated right next to a family from church. I could barely look at them I was so embarrassed at first about the privacy of our conversation. I thought if I don't look at them, maybe they will go away. And they did, quietly and respectfully.

We had THE PERFECT waitress too. An elderly soft spoken woman. She was very kind and hands-off with us as well.

Jeb dove right in after appetizers were ordered with the whole, "You know Gavin, we are here to talk about the greatest thing on earth. Do you know what that is... yada yada yada..."

My part was much easier, I just read the illustrated book of where he came from with him. He giggled the whole time. Especially the part where there is a plump cartoony naked couple holding hands. In fact, he had the giggles the whole time. He actually thought it was all really cool. Especially the part about the sperm wearing tuxedos and wooing the egg and it being a race! Oh yes, it's a race buddy, and in our families case, the boys always win! The book goes through the whole main event, from getting cozy in a bed to having a baby.

My favorite comment of the night was, "Mom, you had to go through all of this four times?"

"Yep, the first part was really fun!" Right, because it was. So as far as he is concerned, I have only done that four times. How funny is that? We will be having a followup conversation in a few weeks about what he remembers and if he has any questions.

He did come in my room the next morning with a big smile on his face. I asked him how he slept and he said he slept well. Next I asked him, "Did you have any bad dreams about plump naked couples?"

He smiled and said no. Phew, because I might have, and yes it was a bad dream. You should see these illustrations, they are hysterical.

What's more hysterical is their comparisons to the fun event and how it's like getting tickled with a feather. And the big event is like getting a big sneeze out. AAAAACHHOOOOO!

I can tell you Jeb and I have been laughing about this at night.

In conclusion, Gavin took it all well and without the slightest bit of embarassment. He didn't know about most of it before, thank goodness. And now he knows our spin on it, the correct spin.

We will be doing the same thing with Max in a few weeks. Lucky him, and lucky us. By the time we talk to Jack, it's going to be at a McDonald's on the way to school.

Being the oldest does have it's slight advantages.

The talk

2011-03-18T12:33:00.000-06:00

Tonight we are having "the talk" with G man. Poor kid. He thinks we are going on a special date with just him. He has no idea we will be talking about s e x and all that jazz. He doesn't know that he will reading this hilarious book, perhaps a little too juvenille for him...

But we consulted a highly recommended read...

My only hope from this first time experience about discussing this with Gavin, is that he will not walk around with a deer in the headlights look on his face. If he does, you know why.

I hope I don't screw this up and come across as confident and at ease as I need to be while addressing this with the boy. Good thing I have my wing man, Jeb to help it all along.

Wish us luck!

Dinner Guests

2011-03-17T08:00:00.002-06:00

Every once in a while, we have guests for dinner. When we have guests over for dinner, we do our best in our own special to make everyone feel at home. I actually cook a killer meal. I don't do this for my family, but come over to my house and you are going to be treated like royalty.

My boys are partial to blondes. And they LOVE Juliana (My childhood friend, dear dear Juliana came to visit all the way from Buffalo). So the anticipation for her arrival with her boyfriend March was palatable. Max, the ever charming one, made the personalized napkin place mats.

Jules is a good friend, one of the best. One I am glad to call dear friend.

See? Max has a crush on Jules. He even points out how "special March is to have her."

Yes Jeb, you are a good one.

When you have nothing else to say, you lie. Max, that was sweet and heart felt, cough cough.

This is my favorite...like Bill and Ted's excellent adventure.

Owen made his own. It says "We be cool." With a big green blob. That is totally cool that you wrote it!

Jack Jack is cool right now! Makes me smile and lol at least once a day lately.

Hmmm...was I showing signs of stress while getting dinner ready? Noted Max.

While we waited for our friends, the kiddos danced and made sure I took pictures of it...

Owen really dances like this... I know what it looks like.

Random Owen Air Quotes Picture.

shake it Jackalicious

go white boy go!

Gavin feeling shy and not dancing for the camera.

Super Jack.

We had the best time. When Jules and March arrived, we ate, we laughed, and then after, we played. We had Nerf wars in the basement. Both teams were equally matched. And I have to say, for people who are not around my kids 24-7, they played like a bunch of pros Like a bunch of kids really. It was so neat to watch. I love this sweet family of mine and those friends whom we get to cross paths with occasionally.

Juliana and her covert moves, scared the crap out of Max. ha ha ha ha ha...

Ya, March I make that face a lot around Owen. He plays for the reals!

I was seriously going to kill March for getting the kids all riled up before bed. I kept thinking, how am I going to get them so settle down. So I had to just walk away and let them all have some fun upstairs after the basement. To my surprise, I found this when I came upstairs. March telling stories to the boys about Dragons, Mosquitoes, and food from his native Thailand.

I go down stairs again to get something. I come back upstairs to tell them all goodnight and guess what, he tucked them all into bed and their lights were out and they were actually calm and quiet, and smiling.

It was the sweetest, tenderest site ever. My boys, Juliana, March, Jeb and me, all enjoying ourselves the way friends and family should. I will cherish this memory forever. Each moment is a gift. It was a good night for dinner guests.

*Juliana and March were in town from Buffalo NY. Taking a break from their medical residencies and partying with her family, and mine!

Oh Jack

2011-03-15T08:00:00.001-06:00

Today, while riding home from school, Jack rolled down the window of our Minivan. Right next to us, at a stop light was a car with it's windows down as well. Jack yells, "Hello Knuckle Heads!"

I looked over to catch a glimpse of eye rolling, or a smile at my adorable child. Not a thing. They didn't even notice or didn't pay attention. Either way, I, like Jack, didn't get a reaction and am a little miffed about it.

Also, later on in the day, while I was frantically trying to get ready for my evening of fun at the museum, I asked the boys to go outside and play. They did. Then Gavin came inside and said, "Mom, you know what Jackson just said?"

Uh oh, "what?"

Gavin proceeds, "I saw him lying on the ground next to his trike and it looked like he fell off. So I asked him if he was alright. He said, ' no Gavin, I am dead.' Isn't that hilarious?"

Totally wicked I might say actually.

And finally. Jack was walking by Taylor, my niece. I asked him to pick up a game piece he knocked out of her hand. He did but not without a little lingual jab at the end. He gave her the piece and then said, "There you go, Stupid."

And there you go. Happy Tuesday. Hug your family, pray for Japan, and kiss the ground of our land-locked state.

You really don't want this to ever happen to you...

2011-03-08T08:00:00.010-07:00

A while ago, we were at Sam's club. Having dinner for less than ten bucks for a family of 6. This said dinner, might be the lowest grade food on the planet, but sheesh they give you big cups for as much soda as you can belch. That much soda can be so hazardous, picture this... (harp sounds and flashback noises occur)

We are all sitting around the "picnic" tables they have at the food court. A picture of happiness and peace. The boys are arguing and licking their fingers and chewing with their mouths full. Jeb and I are pretending like we don't know them. Jeb turns to say something to the boys sitting at the other table behind him. His LARGE SODA cup is sitting precariously close to the edge of the table. And then Jack strikes. His sixth sense kicks in and in slow motion, he grabs for Jeb's cup and it tips, like a basketball rolling through the rim to score the final point of a game down Jeb's pants. I love Gavin's face in this shot.

Nice shooting Jack. Jeb was an excellent and surprised sport.

Oh my gosh, it went all the way down his leg. It's so hilarious. I laugh so hard every time I look at this picture.

Don't forget, if you like FREE scentsy stuff, enter the giveaway here.

I screwed up!

2011-03-03T21:54:00.000-07:00

Here's the Dealio...

Scentsy is awesome. You know you want some and you know your friends do too!

Who doesn't like free stuff? If you don't you must be insane.

Like I said yesterday, my cousin is selling Scentsy and wanting to give away this package to one of you!

The Perfect Scentsy pack. This includes 6 Scentsy Bars of your choice, plus 2 Full-Size Scentsy Warmers. This is a $75 value. FOR FREE FOR YOU!

Here is how you really get one...

Email your friends telling them about this giveaway. You gotta admit, $75 worth of free scentsy is something to talk about. In that email, include Sarah's email address sarahsscents@gmail.com along with all your friends email addresses.
Next, go to Sarah's Facebook Scentsy page, and like her! I like her, you should too!
Based on the likers and the emails Sarah gets, she will pick one of you for her package. I will announce that winner next week. So stop reading, start clicking, and get some scentsy into your house!

Sorry for the misinformation in yesterday's post. Sometimes I can be a total moron.

Scents and stuff...a giveaway

2011-03-02T22:10:00.005-07:00

Little known fact about me... I hate perfume. I have an over active olfactory nerve and the alcohol in perfumes makes me a little crazy. I get these blinding headaches and I cannot function. Mostly it's when people wear way too much and I am in close proximity. My niece for example poored on some love potion number nine the other day and then asked me to check her homework. I nearly died. It was beyond. She stunk good.

With that said, I love good smells, just not ones with the main perfume ingredients. I need something that covers up the onion and garlic smells from cooking the symphony meals my family lives for. I am saying that about as sarcastically as possible. I have tried glade plug-ins, Febreeze, and Bath and Body works oils and burner. They are all lovely. But if you want a real treat, there is only one place to go...Scentsy.

I was skeptical at first. Thinking it was all a gimick and a load of c r a p. But au contraire...my friends, this stuff rocks.

Every time I walk into a Scentsy house, I feel like I want to eat it. That is a good thing. If you have no idea what I am talking about, you should jump on the Scentsy bandwagon. It's AWESOME, and better yet, the scents they have you WILL NOT find anywhere else. Yep, it's that good.

My GORGEOUS cousin Sarah is offering a smoking deal on getting you some scentsy in your home. I would hate her for being so photogenic, but I can't. She is so nice and she also boasts 4 male offspring.

Here is how to get a little Scentsy in your house...

Go to Sarah's Scentsy site and check it out. Email your friends a link to her site and ask them to do the same.
Next go to Sarah's Facebook page, and "like" her. Sarah will choose a lucky "liker" for this

The Perfect Scentsy pack. This includes 6 Scentsy Bars of your choice, plus 2 Full-Size Scentsy Warmers. This is a $75 value. FOR FREE FOR YOU!

If you have any questions regarding this giveaway, you can email Sarah directly sarahsscents@gmail.com. Like I said, she is super nice, super great, and super selling scentsy. Check her out!

Ugly sweater = good skier

2011-03-02T08:00:00.000-07:00

My dad and I try to go skiing at least once a year. That's right, my dad, post stroke 1.5 years is skiing. Amazing. He is super fit now and really giving me a run for my money sometimes on the slopes. We go to winterpark, he treats and I have the best time. The one thing I thought that would make it a little better this year was skiing with my sister and my dad, two of my favorite people on one mountain of groomed white powder happiness. I can't think of anything better.

My sister is not a cold weather gal. My last memory of her on the slopes is when my brother, and her and I took a snowboarding lesson together. John and I had already learned how to do it. It wasn't such a big deal. But Celeste was hating it. She was very frustrated and ended up riding that board down on her but, or maybe she slugged it over her shoulder? Anyway, I remember her vowing to NEVER come back to the mountain of white death again.

With that thought, I really wanted to give it another try with her. She said she would go as long as she could wear my ski jacket and matching pants, and there were no blue runs allowed, oh and we had to leave at 1:30 on the nose. Fine fine, as long as she came, I didn't care if I resembled a scrawny boy on the slopes while she looked H O T in my digs. I just wanted to feel the mountain under my skis with my ski buddies.

We had a little sleep over and she woke up with this on...talk about ugly sweater...she would have won hands down. Oh and don't forget to notice the superman pj bottoms. A complete outfit.

I guarantee I will catch heck for posting these pictures. Super not afraid of the little sis.

She did look great, and her skiing was phenomenal. My dad and I kept giggling at how well she did. Considering the last time and all, some 15 years earlier. I was so proud of my sister that beautiful day. I was also so proud of my dad. I forget now that he even had a stroke AND lived to tell about it.

WE kept laughing everytime the lift operators made small talk with us as we got on the lift and would chant, "Have a good run." Then, doing my best Brian Regan, I would yell, "You too!" Look up the You Too sketch if you haven't seen it.

The group we ordered skis from were so excited to have a customers. There were five guys hanging out at this place and it was dead. They had great signs posted around their facility, just in case you left your common sense at home.

Another awesome sign they had was a picture of a melted piece of plastic. It was a boot. The sign read, "Do not put boot near heating elements or in microwaves." Seriously?

I include this picture merely because it pains me, the whole getting your gear on to go skiing...ugghhh...imagine that with 4 kids, double uggghhhh...

We did end up skiing to 2:30 sharp and didn't break for lunch. There was way too much snow to ski on...and Celeste loved the blue runs! We did see one yard sale. Poor lady with a tramp stamp. Pretty sure she busted her knee. I know what that feels like, the knee part, not the tramp stamp.

Hand mountain. It's such a beautiful thing to see if it is clear and sunny! What a perfect day.

I love this picture, it's just cool and makes me look like I have super long legs, like stilts.

Thanks for the memories dad and Celeste. Please don't ever get rid of that sweater!

balentime's day

2011-03-01T08:00:00.002-07:00

Valentine's day was divine. It started out with this most amazing of all gifts...

I have been wanting a picture frame forever to go above the mantel of our fireplace. I know, that sounds a bit shi shi, but I have never had a mantel or a fireplace. So it was time to give it some BLING. And when you ask Jeb for something he always delivers in epic style. Do you likey? We are thinking about making these for other people. Good idea?

I love this card from Jeb...

We decided our sister was not spending the lover's day on her own, so we all went to the most romantic place on Earth, a Colorado Avalanche Hockey Game. We had VIP seating and ate an exquisite Surf and Turf fare before the game at the Ridgeline. Yummy indeed. Mine was, Jeb's was a little too red and still mooing. I love it that way. That's why I am a sushi fiend.

The Hockey game was a Valentine's Day Massacre. Here is the score of the game before the end of the first period.

Pretty lame. They even pulled the backup goalie, put in the regular one. That didn't make a bit of difference. The best part was before we left, there was a good glove tossing fight. No blood on the ice, but the refs gave them a wide birth nonetheless.

Jeb and Tiff turned to me and said, "Should we go? I mean then aren't going to win."

"Oh, you never know, they could have the greatest comeback of their careers tonight. If we leave, we might miss it."

They both turned to me and said, "Like that's going to happen!"

"You Morgeneggs, always so pessimistic."

"No, we are realistic."

And with that, we left.

A perfect night for the day of love.

how my hairdresser is my therapist

2011-02-28T17:41:00.002-07:00

Last week my friend passed away. She was the ward scriptorian, warrior mother or 5 sons, and my hairdresser. I had grown to adore this woman over my many times in her chair. She also let me bring my kids and allowed them to play with all the boy stuff tucked away so neatly in her storage closets. After my first meeting with Loreen I was never the same again. She instilled this resolve in me to be a great mom to my boys. To enjoy every second with them. She was so funny and each visit was like a good therapy session. I decided I was going to watch this woman under a microscope and see what she did with her sons. I told her this and she laughed like I was a freak stalker. Her sons, all of whom are handsome and dear, two of whom are married, one on a mission, one engaged, and one in high school.

I was in complete denial when I heard she had passed. She was really an amazing woman with so much life in her. But when your time is up, there is nothing you can do about it. We are never in charge are we? It's all on the Lord's time and with his purpose...So with that I felt like writing Loreen a letter. I just had my hair done by her last week. And it looks awesome. 4 colors to boot. She did an amazing job on it. In fact, that was the day where right in the middle of processing my hair, I had to leave her house, and run to get Owen off the bus while looking like Medusa. The bus driver had one word of awe, "Sweet." Yeah, it was sweet. I will miss my therapist...

Dear Loreen,

You would be completely amazed if you would have known how this week was going to turn out. You would never have guessed that so many people have sent some seriously good vibes your families way. You would never in a million years believe that your sons are mostly all home, minus Stuart (cross your fingers). I cannot believe how handsome they all are. You were right, they are to die for. I feel like a dirty old lady saying that. But it's true.

You would be tickled to know that your sweet and young future daughter-in-law is going to get a crash course in being a wife before she is married. She is so willing and present in the aftermath, I really like her.

I cannot believe you are gone. You are a vibrant and beautiful woman. I really want to call you on the phone and share this week with you and see you smile about it. And then see you play it off that people are silly for making such a fuss over you. But you are that woman. The one people will make a fuss over when you depart this life too early.

I want to call you and ask you how to talk to my sons about sex? How to get them to turn out so amazing? Although I am pretty positive we have had these conversations and I already know all the answers. I just wish you were here to give your wisdom and your no nonesense view of the world.

Thank you for the memories and the good times we had. I will miss you more than you know. Who is going to put up with my kids in the basement playing hard and you smiling the whole time? Who is going to try out new and wild colors on my hair? Who is going to drop some serious gospel knowledge and make it sound so interesting and non condescending?

Thank you for not hating Jeb when he got a little too tough on your husband during those "friendly" games of flag football. He didn't mean it and now wishes he could apologize to you one last time. If only you could have reffed those games and really made Jeb furious. I would have laughed the whole time.

The last time we hung out you were helping Becky with a style you thought she might like and you were feeding my kids candy and letting them run a muck. You were saying things the way only you can with your whit and wisdom straight talk. You were so alive. And now you are gone.

You are a becon of hope, a constant I never imagined would leave this world. My life is better because you were in it. Thank you for your example. Thank you for your family, and thank you for you. Till we meet again dear friend...

Becca Morgenegg

Oh Jackson...

2011-02-23T14:56:00.000-07:00

I love it when Jackson yells "P*nis" at the top of his lungs followed by
"You wanna piece of me?"

And then there is Owen with this little Gem,

"Mom, please tell me I can tell Gavin he's a jerk!" No, I won't and you cannot.

Sucker Punched, Jack

2011-02-17T09:27:00.001-07:00

This post reminds me of the song, Love at Home. I want to start singing it when I hear screams of pain and anger downstairs while I am upstairs taking a moment of quiet in my bedroom. I think "peace and beauty" had left the building when I decided I was done with children at 7:30.

I heard this blood curdling scream from downstairs, the kind you don't ignore because you know someone is hurt. I come down the stairs and see Jack Jack sitting on the couch with a lot of blood smeared all over his face.

"Why does Jack have blood all over his face? What happened?"

"He took my ring pop." Owen walks away very nonchalant.

"So how did he get so much blood on his face?" I ask.

"I ripped the ring pop off his finger." Owen

"Which made his face bleed a lot?" Me

"I did not punch him." GUILTY

"Really, his nose started to bleed because you ripped the ring off his finger?"

He starts to smile, his tell that he is lying.

"Why don't you go to your room and I will talk to you in a minute."

"MOM, he didn't do anything. He didn't punch Jack." Max screaches from clear across the room. Max has some serious volume issues, or maybe I am getting older and hate loud noises. No, I think Max is irritating, and not my tender ears, which don't hear anything anyways.

"Max, stay out of it. When I need witnesses, the court will call you to the stand."

I clean up Jack's bloody face and have a look at the carnage. Just a double sided bloody nose. It stopped almost immediately.

"Jack Jack, what happened?"

very breathy "Owen...I took his candy and he punched me." DING!

Hugs and kisses. "Jack sorry you got punched, how about you don't take his candy anymore."

"Okay." in his very cutest pathetic voice.

Upstairs, it was more of the same, "I didn't punch him mom." smile.

"Owen, look me in the eyes and tell me you didn't punch him. Tell me he started bleeding a lot because he punched himself."

"I didn't punch him."

I decide to lay it on nice and thick, peanut butter style.

"All righty little man, you need to know that there is no place in this house for lying. It makes your dad and I not trust you and it makes Heavenly Father sad that you are lying. So you need to decide, say a little prayer and think about how to tell the truth."

I went back downstairs to compare stories with Max, the great loud defender of Owen. It turns out Max didn't even see the incident. Thanks for your crappy witness account Max.

Owen emerged out of his room a reformed man. "Hey mom, I am ready to talk."

"So Owen, tell me what happened?"

Owen proceeds to tell me everything that happened since he was born. Not really, but everything that happened having to do with the ring pop since it entered the hallowed doors of our home.

10 minutes later, we get to the good stuff.

"So Jack Jack put my ring pop on his finger and started licking it."

I swear this is like a court room scene, "And then Owen, what did you do?"

"I punched Jack in the nose."

Gavel pound, just like in Law and Order. Bang bang.

"You told the truth, how do you feel?"

"I feel pretty good." He's looking at me like I am nuts. Oh don't worry Owen, I am certifiable.

"See Owen, telling the truth is so much better than lying. Thank you for being honest son. Now don't punch your brother anymore. At least, not in the face. I understand you don't want him messing with your stuff."

To make a long story even longer, the lesson was learned... Don't take candy from Owen. He's a total bruiser.

Freak Out!

2011-02-16T08:00:00.002-07:00

Owen at the dentist is not too different from a good video of your child's best tantrum. Poor Owen has always been traumatized by the people with letters after their names. In retro spect, I should have listened to that voice in the back of my head that said, "A second procedure is not a good idea." But to heck with that dear voice that still returns again and again after I repeatedly ignore it and then apologize and promise hot chocolate and cookies if we can be friends.

Owen went in for his pulpectomy. It went smooth... like butter. The happy gas was keeping him happy, the movie was keeping him completely distracted, and the "sleepy water" was keeping him all numb. I love the smoke and mirrors terms the dentists use to "calm" kids' nerves. You never hear the term "we are going to give you a painful shot in your mouth," or "I can't wait to crack that tooth right out of your head." No no, it's always, "We are going to give you some sleepy water," and "we are going to pop that bubble." How sweet. Right? Not really. I think it teaches kids to mistrust any sugar coated term and think twice about "putting their tooth to sleep" or popping a bubble.

Owen is going to think twice about it from now on. The movie ended, the "sleepy water" was starting to wear off. We were all commenting on how fast and great the whole thing went. And then the Doc goes, "Well, should we do his other cavity?"

"Other cavity? How many does he have?" The root canal kindof stole all the other cavities thunder.

"He has three others to have fixed."

smut and rut and muck...."Really? Do we have to do them all today?"

"No I was just thinking one more since he did so great for the root canal."

thinking thinking, ignoring the voice in my head...thinking, ignoring...

"Sure."

As soon as they switched to the other side of his mouth, Owen left the building. And what replaced him was an angry and highly pissed off 5 year old. Half drugged, half numb, half out of his mind. Halfway through the second procedure, he decided he was done and sat up! When we pushed him back down, he just screamed. A lot. Angry screams. The kindof screams you hear when you go to the dentist office and are so greatful that isn't your child. No, that was my child thank you very much.

I loved the assistant whom was trying to shush Owen. What if the other patients heard him? I think it was a little late for that.

Finally he was finished. They used twice as much "sleeping water" on his second side than on the root canal side. He was so numb and so angry. Yet he was getting plenty of feeling back on the newly dead tooth.

The first thing he said to me when we got in the car was, "Mom, I don't ever want to go to the dentist again." Sob sniff sob sniff boo hoo hoo.

I can tell you I felt like a heel, worse than a heel. I felt like Gru from despicable me, when he pops the balloon for that little boy at the beginning of the movie.

So what is the moral of the story? Listen to that voice in the back of your head. And if you have ignored it, start kissing up with some hot cocoa and cookies. And of course, a healthy dose of humility never hurt.

The Lamest Snowman Ever....Happy Friday

2011-02-11T07:03:00.000-07:00

It has been COLD here in the lovely state of Colorado. So I decided it was time to partake in the cold and make a good ol' fashioned snowman with the little ones. One problem, the snow is still really cold. It doesn't pack for anything. The result?

A snowman volcano...

It was fun hanging with the kiddos until we had a snowball fight that ended in tears. I nailed Owen in the face with a cold one. I seriously wasn't aiming for his face. I was trying just to hit his body. He cried, looked at me like I was the worst mother in the world, and then I whisked him inside to some hot cocoa.

Cannot wait for more snow. Yep I said it. I love winter and I love snow. I also love a warm house and hot things to drink.

The volcano snowman had its desired effect, Gavin and Max came inside from school laughing and smiling. My mom even stopped to take a picture.

Jack Jack, too tired to take off his own boots. Nice son...nice. Love those Rosy cheeks.

Real Animals and hearing aids

2011-02-04T08:11:00.002-07:00

Heard in my house tonight...

MAX: "You guys are REAL A-Holes!"
ME: "Max? Can you please come down here?"
MAX: "What mom? I didn't mean to."
guilty
ME: "Just come down here so I can chat with you."
I know I don't use that term....openly...in front of my children.
He is moving like a slug down the stairs.
MAX: "Mom, what? I am so sorry."
ME: "Max, I just need to chat with you a second."
MAX: "Is it my whiney voice? I am sorry, I won't do it again."
ME: huh? whiney voice...no
ME: "Max, what did you just say upstairs to your brothers? 'you guys are real WHAT?' What was that last part?"
MAX: "Real Animals. We are all pretending to be real animals. I was just telling them they are real animals."
smiling and laughing,
ME: "Oh, well good. Keep it up. Go play and be real animals if you must."

A-Holes and Animals, easy to confuse.

Confirmed...I have the hearing of my dad...The man cannot hear a thing. BINGO.

The Ugliest of them all...ode to the sweater and those who dare to wear

2011-02-02T08:00:00.001-07:00

It was New Year's Day, and all through the house,

not a child was stirring, just people in old ugly sweaters.

The tacky treats were established with care,

in the hopes that the 80's would soon be there.

Jeb found a sweater,

so loved by a past brother-in-law,

he brought sexy back

with this blue and pink ensemble.

And I in my ugly sweater,

it was a 2 dollah wrap

had just put on blue eye shadow

for our celebratory frap.

Heidi came up with the idea, one so truly genius.

"Becca you provide the house,

and I will plan it to completeness."

(This left me quite speachless)

The guests arrived puctually, and with great care...

except Jackee Farrell,

who came one day late, Unaware.

Her and her brood were dressed to the nines.

We told her, thank you for coming,

but this gig was yesterday's time.

The first to arrive,

Heidi and Quin,
were wearing by far

Sweaters uglier than sin.

Next up were The Chatterleys,

So lively and bright,

You would have thought,

This was an ugly sweater fight.

On Crocketts, On Nelsons, Michael and Libby Ames.

Your 80's styled sweaters were a crying shame.

Apparently Michael, had one that was tops

But some lady at work "barrowed it,"

and forgot to swap. (Right)

Kayla Crocketts Purple Jacket,

Homemade by her mom,

came complete with matching florals

and a back bib, thereupon.

Jared's ensemble was just too suave,

he delighted our ward

by wearing it the next Sunday.

Go Poulsons and Struhs', and of course the Calkins

your posing was amazing,

will you please show us your pictures

from prom in the 80's?

We played "battle of the sexes,"

where I heard a compliment so clear,

"Your husband might be more metro than mine."

Amy said with a cheer.

We had crackers and cheese balls,

a frozen pizza in a pan.

the food spread was tacky,

the presentation was a sham. (ugly table cloth)

The winner of the ugliest sweater,

got a prize beyond compare.

A gaudy vintage picture frame,

for the Christmas sweater of Shame.

Jeff Poulson would have won,

had it not been,

for Jon Struhs and his cheating ways,

8 entries with a different pen.

Quinn was the true winner,

he tortured us with his style

black socks with sandles

had us tasting a little bile.

Thank you friends,

for bringing some joy and cheer

Merry Kitschmas to all,

we will see you again next year.

The end.

And to those whom didn't make the guest list this year, please give me a by and don't be hating on me. I was going through a rough patch in life, I wished everyone could have been there. Next year peeps, next year indeed.

To view all the images from the party, go here

You wouldn't believe

2011-02-01T08:00:00.002-07:00

This was written the end of December...

Before I close out this year I would like to point out two very important facts...

Fact #1, It has been 36 day since I have been pulled over by a police officer and gotten a ticket. Just doing my part to support the people who protect us... whatevs!

Fact #2, I just looked at my library account and I do not have any books missing or checked out!!! My currect fine is below $2.00. This is unheard of and a great way to end the year.

WILD APPLAUSE

I am bowing...thank you!

Update, I have 20 books checked out and a $3.00 fine. I am totally screwed.

And the award goes to....

2011-01-31T08:00:00.001-07:00

me, I am having a competition with the rest of the parents at my kids' school. I think I won with these to die for cupcakes in a jar. Eat your heart out room moms and domestic goddesses. This is so awesome. it may not look pretty, but by gall, it's tasty and is guarenteed to add five pounds to your hind quarters. If it didn't, it wouldn't be worth eating.

Oh and the competition was only known by me.

this was a fun day last December...

I went to Owen's kindergarten festivus. Owen was so sweet to Jack and took great care of his brother. Jack scored in the treat department with his ice cream sandwich and crafts to boot. Lucky kid!

Next was the delivering of the Heavenly goods that I got from one of my favorite sites ever. Go here for some of the greatest baked ideas ever. And go here is you just want something good to cook, Amy you do make the best stuff. Thank you for not selfishly keeping it to yourself.

I also made a little disclaimer about the prep of these babies. I had to make sure the teachers didn't just throw these away. What a waste of brilliant combining of chocolate, peppermint, and a gallon of butter. I know butter isn't measured in gallons unless it's melted, but I wanted to quantify just how much fatty goodness went into these.

After all the fun and sugar highs, we kept the celebrating going by having my nephews over for some partying, Morgenegg style. There are so many things funny about this picture.

Jeb sleeping in the background.
Jack's face.
Greyson (green shirt) getting ready to make a break for it and find his mom.
Wyatt's face
Owen's body paint. There was more on his chest and who knows where else.
Rory and Max.
let's not forget Gman posing as a perfect Angel. Pshaw!

I received several accolades for the cupcakes. They were great and that recipe was to die for good. Try it the next time you want to wow your kids' teachers and remind them of why they are lucky to have you as a parent in their school. And yes, I would say in my heart of hearts, I won the competition of best Christmas treat for a teacher. Gift cards, lame. Cookies, boring. Peppermint Fudge cupcake in a jar. DiNG, devine!